Thinking: 

Tawista. Solo again presumably. The good part of solo is silence. I am going to climb and swim and do things and go places that nobody should do or go alone. It's worth it to me. If that kills me like that poor fucker who died in shallow water, I had to die somehow and I don't see anybody killing themselves any better way(s). 

Things I know: I want to die. I want to die feeling alive af. (All I have to do is finish the sentence, have the whole thought.)

I see it now: why people jump out planes. at least we used a parachute, you can hear them thinking at the rest of us