Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Play me a song?

It's Over - The Smiths


Saturday, February 15, 2020


Friday, February 14, 2020

Play me a song?

Awolnation - The Best

[Warning: Poetry alert! If you prefer your horoscopes to be exclusively composed of practical, hyper-rational advice, stop reading now!] Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! I hope there's someone in your life to whom you can give a note like the one I'll offer at the end of this oracle. If there's not, I trust you will locate that person in the next six months. Feel free to alter the note as you see fit. Here it is. "When you and I are together, it's as if we have been reborn into luckier lives; as if we can breathe deeper breaths that fill our bodies with richer sunlight; as if we see all of the world's beauty that alone we were blind to; as if the secrets of our souls' codes are no longer secret."


How about, "When you and I are together, it's good to see you again." ?

Not very romantic, I know.

Thursday, February 13, 2020

"Math"

I make 81 cents on the dollar of a man doing my same job. Supposedly. But I know LOTS of men making 2-3× at least. Who are fuckturds couldn't do my job if their balls were on fire otherwise.

But ok. 81 cents. Fine. That's 19 cents worth of resentment. By ratio. As a constant.

Save 19 cents with compounded interest for 50 years. What? It's roughly $126.

So for every dollar your white male privilege earns, it also earns $126 worth of FUCK YOU from me.

Imagine how black women feel about you! What you owe.

That's my problem. With this guy or that. It's the compounding interest on FUCK YOU over time naturally. It's nothing personal.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you believe you don't know what you're doing and then get evidence that supports that belief, frustration sets in. This is the point when many would give up. Not you. All of this can be figured out, if only you don't quit.

Mark, best in soul. Like, really good.
Didn't work.

EX, best partner match. Like, perfect on paper.
Didn't work.

FPH, brought out the good in me.
Didn't (even try to make it) work.

Trainwreck, best sex. As in intimacy.
Didn't work.

Nebraska. Excellent match on paper, highly motivated. Everything says it should work. Like, as a math problem. Every night I go to sleep working this problem, having talked to him on the phone and dodged as much lovetalk as humanly possible - it's like talking to my dad and trying to avoid triggering subjects. (Sigh.)

Every day, I wake up and work the problem of my job / kids / life. Alone.

All evidence suggests I do not know what I'm doing. Except (remember?) this.


Tuesday, February 11, 2020



Prove it.





VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). When things get a little tense, it might help to think of this as an adventure, or the movie you're starring in. If you take a moment to sense it, you'll get the feeling there's an invisible audience out there rooting for you.

Saturday, February 08, 2020

You once told me that the human eye is god’s loneliest creation. How so much of the world passes through the pupil and still it holds nothing. The eye, alone in its socket, doesn’t even know there’s another one, just like it, an inch away, just as hungry, as empty. Opening the front door to the first snowfall of my life, you whispered, “Look.”

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong

Friday, February 07, 2020

you're just crimping my style 

Wednesday, February 05, 2020

I've been nominated to move up (again). This time, up and AWAY.

I keep thinking: disappear.

If you keep thinking a thing, about a thing, it comes to you. In one form or another. smib

Monday, February 03, 2020

I am not telling anybody where I am going. I'm just going to Get Gone.

Alone.

Saturday, February 01, 2020

"Understand why it agitates me,  talking of trips and island cabins. I don't want to talk about a fantasy future. And I don't want to try to relive your glorious traveled past, as if looking at vacation slides....Follow your first wife, or first your mistress, to hell in a cruise ship!"

New strategy. He reads not nearly as much as I do. So I can "quote" messages that I wish existed for me to quote, author and title invented, and for all his ivy league pedigree, he doesn't catch me. But hopefully he catches the DRIFTs

"Eat me raw mister!", The Liars Club, Mary Karr