grit class reading

Assumption 1: you're gonna live

Assumption 2: you have to live with what you carry

You can't go back in time and untraumatize either yourself or the people that you came from. And you should not want to. Trying to do that is like trying to erase yourself, and then live with an erased self. That will not succeed or be sustainable. Reverse it. What is it that you're carrying and how will you do that? 

"I refuse to push my body to the brink of exhaustion and destruction. Let the chips fall where they may. I trust myself more than capitalism."

"Everything always starts with the personal...The microhistories and small details of our lives hold the keys to our redemption."  

"Survival is not the end goal for liberation. We must thrive."

"I’m inspired by remixing and being subversive. I am inspired by disruption and tenderness. I am inspired by imagination. I am inspired by grief, mourning, and lament. I believe deeply in vulnerable, generative spaces for healing. I am inspired by rest, daydreaming, and sleep...Rest is radical."

"I wish you rest today. I wish you a deep knowing that exhaustion is not a normal way of living. You are enough. You can rest. You must resist anything that doesn’t center your divinity as a human being. You are worthy of care." (a handy incantation)

Rest as Resistance:A Manifesto, Tricia Hersey 

(erotica as breakthrough: a manifesto 🤔)

"tessellate"

card of the day, doesn't usually mean physical death, it means "over it", an end to something, like a situation or dynamic.
such as no more worry - assume the other is alive and well, and judge their behavior the same way you would anyone else's (for instance)

My world regarding one important complex person has been reduced to a pinprick of yes/no. alive?/dead? I can't stay that small gracefully. Turns me into a monosyllabic 😳 scaredy cat. 

I can't tip-toe. I can stomp. Stepping in the shit. Unafraid of it.

I have been bursting at the mental seams with a hell of a lot of my IQ withering inside that tiny yes/no daily format. Idling, frustrated, talking about the weather. (Am I back in Kansas?) And getting a lot out of it, in a way, so stymied that I've had to invent a form of writing that's evolving into a little writers club. I started a business. Therapy sessions going deep. All good. But. He's just living with a chronic disease like about half the people I know, kids and adults alike. That is a Thing, I'm not saying it isn't, but that's all it is. 

(And shittily married / shitty exes also, half the people I know. Kid shit weighing heavy on you, everyone who has any kids has that in some form. Ready, set, one of your parents is gonna die any second fyi and if it's my mother we're screwed...)

Life gets rough and we made (make) it rougher. We broke. People do that. "Rub some dirt on it," as Tbone would say. 

I'm not for everyone - bros osbourne 

"how to collapse"

it's not your fault - slow leaves

VIRGO Real life is no melodrama. The dimple-chinned hero will not show up to save the maiden strapped to the railroad track. 

full Pink moon in Libra (balance)

change my mind (acoustic) - riley green

"Reverse Cowgirl (Strength card)"

I have options - cameron whitcomb and have imagined mores and otherwises

worry ft something feels off

 

Grit, writing assignment (pay attention)

Subject is your choice.

"caregiving" (mixed media)

This is about writing itself as a kind of grit = the subject is what is challenging to you, forcing you to grow. What stymies you.

As you write, be explicit and specifically detailed. You're not trying to mystify yourself.

Assignment format:

a memory + a fantasy / a reality 

Example: A memory of being a parent + a fantasy of what that could be like / the current on-the-ground reality in that life category.

Goal: Use writing to discover what you're thinking.

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not unblogging this atm - it's not writing, it's writing-about-writing 

fascinating to watch her hit a plotline, shattering it on impact 

Grit, a novel (see recipe), current contents

Section 1 - Sobriety Games

ch 1 "Threshold Learning"

ch 2 "Just One"

ch 3 "Choking"

ch 4 "Reverse Cowgirl"

Section 2 Vegas

ch 5 "Dick Butter" (ripped down into 3 chapters / shattered)

ch 6 "Garbage Bags" (working title)

ch 7 "Huckleberry"

ch 8 "Sex Chair (Mid-Century Modern)"

Section 3 - Unknown Freeballing It - I don't have a wish. 

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Words can work magic. Or at least help you grit your way through a hard spell.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Not every interaction will leave you energized, but healthy relationships involve some form of exchange: support, laughter, learning or shared understanding. If you consistently walk away from someone feeling depleted, pause and reflect on what might need attention.

Writing is paying attention.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). To really serve someone well, you'll find out the person's preferences and give full attention to meeting their needs. This kind of detailed work is a rare gift to offer, so don't be surprised if it makes an impression far beyond what you were aiming for.

My mother on paper. Mid cerebral gorilla erotica. Welp 🤷🏻‍♀️

Section 1 - Sobriety Games

ch 1 "Threshold Learning"

ch 2 "Just One"

ch 3 "Choking"

ch 4 "Reverse Cowgirl"

Section 2 Vegas

ch 5 "Dick Butter" (draft 1)

wreck - neko case 

says God

try not to freak out - john shambles 

Grit, a novel

chapter 4, "Reverse Cowgirl"

 

There's wildness in the way our minds work, and that can be beautiful. But when it isn't, remember that the uncomfortable thoughts are common, especially on a day of a solar conjunction with Saturn and three lunar squares. Treat the negative thoughts like mental static. Don't build an identity around them. You don't need a pure mind to live well. You need a flexible one.

"word lent"