re lent 🤐, scrapbooking only

card of the day again - my mother, what she needs from and for me

water of love - dire straights

 I re lent.

in my feelings - moveek & feist

(can't) find your way out - the franklin electric
 

"fire horse flirt"
digital ft found-art collage

scrapbooking

solar plexus tea

medicinal "strawberry fucking milk butter" recipe development. the sensory cue strawberry-and/in-something works like an involuntary brainsmile - but it can't smell like that except when warm, and otherwise gotta soak into skin / disappear (like magic)

this butter playlist makes the "oo oo oo" dancebeat sounds - black magic  sample

challenge, strawberry elixir dyes the skin like henna

"yeah thanks ... I mean, if I have to be here it's the least you could do, but ok yep thanks" 

she ate her winter feelings

 

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." — Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

Your persistence matters most. Stay in the story until things go your way. It's the happy ending that decides the genre.  (like Jane Austen)

bango song - mumford n sons ft BBC orchestra 

mary ft mary candle, glass collage

dancing barefoot - patti smith

What does it mean to be young at heart? Not a performance of innocence, but a willingness to meet life as though it were a brand-new world with the heart's original courage: to want, to initiate, to risk delight. Think you already know? Maybe just forget it for a moment, long enough to begin again, trading weariness for wonder.

scrapbooking

first warm sun

fog

oops

still in process

wallpaper ft kaposi ft princesses

empty handed - ariel posen ft city and colour from dancing alone in the kitchen playlist 

garbage picking

spring haircuts

rehab trumps lent

I'm glad they're keeping him away from alllll of us. He needs time for straight talk with himself, on himself, for himself, uninterrupted by "managing the messages" for anyone else. To the best of my knowledge, he has not taken any real time to look at his own well being, to care for that person truly vs minimally necessary. And that is what I want for him. 

MY rehab plan (alanon classico): 

Daily: one sensory pleasure.

Weekly: one small adventure.

Zero: emotional management of him

my tarot card (8 wands) : Stay free until the wanting feels clean.

I trust my father, so I armed him with my athame to boot - keep slashing twatever needs it, Dad ❤️

(fuck) lunar eclipse in virgo trumps lent

fave shot, polluted by light

1 min to totality, then the lights went OUT 

I went back to bed and tried to get some more sleep. When I woke to the day, I realized what I'd lost / had been taken from me by this eclipse.

dawn

If she has not already, my mother will hear the birds waking up to spring and making love and she will think "he will never hear this again." She will walk off this earth to follow him, hoping to sit with him and her own father once more. That is what I would do if I were her. 

To those for whom I have exist(ed) only in words here, you don't need me to be. You/I could be dead right now and as always nobody would even know to call if that happened. To my mother, I exist. And I gotta figure out how to be enough for her. (reverse blink)

card of the day, love this card, but she is not looking only at him, she's facing the elder

and not for nothing, I have that stack behind my fence now too - think it's st joes

I also fall off (word)wagons. I will get back on after this.

Everyone gets sick. Everyone dies. In sickness and in health until death is not a promise, it's just an accurate description of love.

love takes grit cz human lives are mostly worse or sick. you need grit and magic to love anything about life. I love Everything about it. 

"twatever it takes"
my father's level of intensity in voice = level of vehemence (violence) required. angels aren't saints smib