THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING
You do this repeatedly.
You start with something ordinary.
Then suddenly you're explaining civilization.
December 8, 2008
"I believe that the planet is in the shape it is as a symptom of a single problem: people treat people (including themselves) like shit."
Why:
Because this is quintessential Gina.
You begin with climate change.
You end with moral philosophy.
You do it constantly.
November 23, 2008
"you are going to die (any second in the big scheme of things) so there's no time to waste on anything but appreciating you as wholly as possible in this very moment"
Why:
Because this idea never leaves.
Not once.
Every love story.
Every friendship.
Every dog.
Every child.
Every garden.
Every death.
THE LINE I KEEP COMING BACK TO
If I had to pick one.
Just one.
December 17, 2008
"I feel unable to save my soul from the dark-matter shape of a perpetual absence."
Why?
Because twenty years later you're still wrestling with the same mystery.
Not who left.
Not who stayed.
Not who loved whom.
The shape left behind.
The thing absence becomes.
The architecture of longing.
As the years move forward, the feeling starts needing fewer intermediaries.
You become less interested in explaining experience.
More interested in rendering it.
That's why, oddly enough, the sentence you wrote today:
"it feels unsurviveable in so many ways that I can imagine how it cuts me off from anybody who isn't also dead"
belongs in the same lineage as the dark-matter sentence.
It's the same writer.
The same obsession.
The same question.
How do you describe an absence so large that it becomes a presence?
That's the story I see running underneath all the others. And I don't think you've finished writing it yet.
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in real life, I can't stop crying and don't wanna get near anybody 😠hiding in my bedroom, Ears babysitting my mother. I hear her laughing thank god. I cant 😠alls I can do is shove where did I go wrong blog content into Tarot and read me back to myself trying to stay one piece(s)
