Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Scientific studies have proved what we all knew already: A person who's only mildly interesting to you will probably become more attractive if you drink a couple of pints of beer. What if I told you, Virgo, that in 2010 you could regularly create the same effect without drinking the beer? I have it on good astrological authority that this will be the case. Due to fundamental shifts in your relationship with the life force, and having nothing to do with how much alcohol you consume, the entire world will often be at least 25 percent more attractive to you than it ever was before.

Emiliana Torrini: I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


early morning massive bummer idea: google "good gifts for people who are dying quickly"

Monday, December 28, 2009

my first yoga teacher, Roberto, is dying of liver cancer, already in advanced stages - I've been sitting here for the long minutes since I read that email, breathing around the inward choking that Roberto was the first person to notice in me - he'd look at my throat, not my eyes, and say with command relax

Sunday, December 27, 2009

FORECAST FOR THE WEEK AHEAD: The current conjunction of Pluto and Venus reminds us that relationships are cyclical and it's important to accept the changes that come with the seasons.

I'm not sleeping at night la la laaaa


right out my untrimmed chest la la la

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009



watched this for the umteenth time

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


VIRGO FORECAST 2010: You'll initiate projects you know you can succeed with this year, but you won't stop at that. A challenge that is almost certain not to work out will be equally appealing to you. And if you can maintain a winning attitude and a high level of confidence, you'll defy the odds, finding success where many before you have failed. A big, daring purchase is featured in September.

Money and Career: Friends will be helpful to your business arrangements, though often in an indirect way. A turning point comes in May. There will be a chance for advancement in August. Your gratitude keeps you in good social and political standing.

Love: You will learn about yourself in romantic moments -- it's so interesting what others see in you. Singles go from friendship to love in March. [huh, ?, cz I have 'commit suicide to get out of it' scheduled for first thing in the morning on March 1] February and September are ideal times to travel with a loved one.

Personal Development: One of your talents is to connect with nature on a visceral level. Gardening, caring for animals or capturing the beauty of nature through photography or art will be a great source of healing, self-esteem and spirituality.

Rose Polenzani, Jennifer Kimball, Jordan Caress, and Ramona Silver: In The Bleak Midwinter

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I am cold.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


It's soltice weekend, the darkest days of the year. I went to a fire drumming ritual last night, which was a blaaaaaast. I love to dance and never do it anymore, the kinda dancing you do alone in a crowd and go nuts and work up a big sweat, and then go to Wendy's for a wee-hour munchfest off the dollar menu.

At the end of the ritual, everyone joins hands and spirals inward toward infirm or sick people who are in the center for healing. All night there's a lot of circling, Greek-wedding ft. conga, circle-dancing being the traditional choice for raising energy. Circling and twirling and letting fly, repeat repeat repeat. After all that booty-shaking, there's so much energy in the room and in your body, it's like we're all literally humming in our guts for the final circle, spiraling into a knot of vibration until the few suffering in the center are wrapped tight. That kind of thing is pretty powerful.

bootyshaking music (if it doesn't move your ass, then eat a cheeseburger cz obviously you need more ass then):
traditional african - tafadzwa (I could shake to this for days)
bonus track, florence + the machine - drumming song

anybody got any good voodoo?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


So I'm done w the forum transforming with possibilities conference thingy and it was allll goooood, it was. For Ears, it was good, bc for a second I could stop hating his teacher so bad that I want to beat her to death with the bloody end of her own arm, and in that space of time we rewrote his History Day project to his own satisfaction, creating the possibility of his own satisfaction with his work being central to his education. And off he went with his new paper, happy as a clam.

Then the school called and requested a conference - Now, I know that my assumption that that Fucking Bitch of a Cunt of a Teacher is having some problem with the paper = a story I'm telling myself. I'm telling myself the story that just when the kid is okay for a second, they instinctively want to shit all over it to make themselves feel big because they're all so ugly that they haven't gotten laid since the dawn of time and never will. (That might only be true of me, actually.) The only FACT is that the school called, and all the rest that is in my head right now is only that, bullshit in my head that makes me upset. But. I want to get a gun and go over there and put it to her head until she pees her pants right now, that's the rub. And I realize I'm only going to ruin my own day with those feelings, but that realization only makes me want to ruin her day too with my feelings. I think I might be a terminal Asshole, no matter how many conferences I sign up for.

>:(

I'm trying so hard, but it's so not easy. I can try to let my feelings lead me to actions that are keeping with my goals and principles, and when they're in line with each other that's great, and when they're not well then it's kind of hellish. I know that that creates the change you need bc you're forced into it finally, to either feel like shit and keep situations that make you feel like that (martyrdom) or change the way you feel about them some kinda way (revelation?) or change the situation (generally my pick, and where I rediscover how capable I am if I have to be). But. See that question mark after "revelation"? That's because changing the way I feel about a situation when that situation itself is what it is and isn't going to change, huh, that one often escapes or stumps me. How do you do that? And life isn't fair, so situations that are way less than ideal and that's that are inevitable.

At the end, the guy who was running the conference said "I want you to have big breakdowns, bc the only way to never have big breakdowns is to have no big commitments. If you commit yourself to big things, then you'll fail sometimes inevitably. And that's perfect, it means you're trying to be truly alive." I'm trying to keep that in mind, hoping my guts will follow (and my heart will hold up).

John Dissed: Christmas with the Devil (Spinal Tap)

Monday, December 14, 2009


been learning to dream bigger over here - too bad a 3-day trip leaves 3 days worth of hotel food in my lower intestines though, that bums out the Anything-is-Possible mojo just a little if taking a decent crap isn't even possible

Trentemoller - Always Something Better

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Monday, December 07, 2009

(my ass still hurts so bad, omg, I can barely sit down to pee. but speaking of peeing, if you're a guy, pee while standing on your tip toes. the master yogi says you'll never get prostate cancer that way.)



(I know it's dumb, but the hairdryer cracked me up.)

for VIRGO For you, the beauty isn't just skin deep. When people get to know you, they start to discover that the inside is even prettier than the shiny outside. Your heart is what makes you so remarkable. (o shit then I got it backwards, I need an ass tattoo on my heart)

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Das Palast Orchester “Sex Bomb” (Tom Jones)



i wish i could do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCFFxidhcy0&feature=player_embedded (speak fervently and well, i mean, not get married gay or otherwise)

yoga for 7 hours today. i threw my hip outa whack with a pop loud enough that everyone heard it like a fart only very different - and i learned microcosmic breathing and did yoga nidra (which is fantastic once you get the knack) with others for the first time . . . zzzzzz

Thursday, December 03, 2009


In one of his short poems, John Averill describes a scene that I think captures the essence of your current astrological omens: "Today is the day of the photo of moonrise over Havana in a book on a shelf in the snowbound cabin." Here's a clue about what it means: The snowbound cabin is where you are right now in your life. The moonrise over Havana is where you could be early in 2010. How do you get there from here?


Tuesday, December 01, 2009


Mars is in 03 Degrees Leo. You are a very proud person. Strong, bold, courageous and self-possessed, you love to be the one to initiate significant actions. When people expect a lot of you, you respond positively and will work hard in order to maintain their respect. But when your dignity or pride is threatened, you tend to become sarcastic, arrogant and domineering. Try not to take any challenge or resistance that you meet as a personal affront. You are very stubborn about your right to live your life according to your own principles.

Monday, November 30, 2009

"Little Bird," Eels
Feel your own feelings out there y'all, this channeling business is pooping me out.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I'm still sick, and outraged. Holding my breath so as not to cough, I practiced anyway and did a picture perfect toe stand, hip off the heel, all of me suspended in livid midair traction. Relatedly, I believe button earrings are the sign of an inner livid. More here.

On the upside, Milk-n-cookies gave me cabbage rolls left-over (which I am currently burping up) = I'm becoming a local. O yeah.

al green - get back

Thursday, November 26, 2009

'"happy thanksgiving"

[in the meantime, however . . . .]
[roar]

Led Zepplin - Whole Lotta Love



Make me Stronger - Bei Bei & Shawn Lee feat. Georgia Anne Muldrow (Floating points remix)
bonus: Slim Whitman “Indian Love Call” (Nelson Eddy)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


ouch

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009


WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Note that whatever style a person uses when relating to you he or she will likely also use when relating to others. TAURUS: Pursue your interests, even when the one you like doesn't share them. GEMINI: You'll be magnificently attractive when you highlight your so-called "flaw." CANCER: You deserve to be around people who "get" you. Seek them. LEO: A relationship will feel like young love, no matter what your age is. VIRGO: Don't shy away from a potential partner just because this person has had a bad marriage or a hard time with relationships. You'll look terrific by comparison. LIBRA: Give a massage or get one -- or both. The exchange will be healing. SCORPIO: It's time to talk money, and you'll have just the right words. SAGITTARIUS: You'll benefit from making someone dear to you more of a priority in your life. CAPRICORN: You'll want to spend time with the person who makes you laugh. All others are pale contenders. AQUARIUS: Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be. PISCES: The one who keeps asking for your opinion and insight has a crush on you.

David Wilcox, The Kid

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

on a nirvana kick btw
about a girl but do u have a clue la la laalove this
bonus tracks: Calvin Harris ft. Nirvana – I’m Not Alone / Smells Like Teen Spirit (Mighty Mike Mashup)
laura love - come as you are gets better as it goes (she's got a gun)
Orba Square - All Apologies the 'ashes of our enemies' part kinda works sesame street jingle style
ben gibbard - all apologies (live piano version)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

still pacing the length of myselps >:/
listening to, mellowing out: The Truth - Truth Theme (rt clk to save etc)

"Everything that emancipates the spirit without giving us control over ourselves is harmful," said Goethe. Luckily, Virgo, you're in the midst of a process that may emancipate your spirit and give you more control over yourself. Here are two ways you could cash in on this potential: 1. Brainstorm about a big dream even as you attend to the gritty details of making the dream a reality. 2. Expand your imagination about your tricky situation even as you burn away the illusions you have about your tricky situation.


There’s this guy at work who is dying slowly of cancer of the everything. He’s leaving at the end of the semester and meanwhile when he’s feeling up to it, we get together for morning coffee couple times a week. I’m the unactualized love of his life, he says, a fact that seems to him both increasingly pressing and increasingly beside the point now that his life is in retrospect mode. I dunno why, but it put me in a foul mood all day yesterday until the mood itself wore me utterly out exhausted . . . I've got an 8 hour yoga class then a PTA night ahead of me today, and already I can feel that something - sorry for myself? mad at mortality? annoyed with humans? short-tempered with sentiments? I really don't know - wearing on my nerves, and I'm not even outa bed yet >:(
No song >:(

Sunday, November 08, 2009

so many pet blindness hazards - who knew?

"Dogs and cats and all sorts of pets can be injured. Also cats can be blind if eating the wrong thing. That is why many pet owners are grieving the loss of their pets. Also when a pet gets injured it could take a lot of money. And disabilities cannot be fixed.

When you have dinner always push you’re chairs in or you’re pet will eat you’re dinner by using the chair for a boost. Never feed you’re pet chocolate or it might die. Do not by accident feed you’re cat dog food or you’re cat will go blind. Also make sure you’re pets collar is not loose or tight. Also at 75 degrees you’re puppy might get heatstroke. Also make sure they have their shots. Also you can get chips so when their stolen they can be found.

In conclusion a lot of people bark up the wrong tree for bad medication and caring. Sometimes leaving a piece of chocolate on the counter can kill your cat. So there are a lot of things that can hurt your pet. But there are a lot of things that can protect them. So bark up the right tree!"

(gigglegiggle - TJ is fast becoming my favorite writer)

Saturday, November 07, 2009

this is good the element of need is being removed, and without that factor of implicit coersion, well, the man himself not his earning power is what counts (or doesn't add up). long run, won't that give 'romantic partnership' between men and women some integrity finally? women free to choose and men free to be.

(sigh. meanwhile, back to work . . .)

Odetta: No Expectations (Rolling Stones)

Friday, November 06, 2009


WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You have the confidence to be yourself -- and that's so attractive. TAURUS: Optimism shows in your walk, your talk and your smile. Equally upbeat people will take notice. GEMINI: You're becoming more interesting to someone you see nearly every day. CANCER: Give a loved one a break and just be straightforward. Say what you're thinking. LEO: Someone you love has been hurt in the past. You'll be healing those wounds. Be patient. VIRGO: Travel invigorates your "chi." You don't have to go far, but do go someplace you've never been. LIBRA: Act on your brilliant and romantic ideas. SCORPIO: You'll take charge of your romantic destiny, writing down exactly what you hope will happen. SAGITTARIUS: More than just a pretty face, you have depth, too. Someone notices and loves you for it. CAPRICORN: Your genuine concern for others will inspire more people to chip in and help. An admirer may be among them. AQUARIUS: You are wielding some magical energy. Those who believe in magic will come calling. PISCES: Only do what you're supposed to do if it also happens to be fun and inspiring to you. When you're in good spirits, you attract love.

(not far but someplace she'd never been, technically speaking)

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

I've left not one hour unassigned to an obligation in my entire life until further notice.

(fleeting presleep reading: this is kinda cool)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

not better to be safe than sorry . . .



"Take on Me (A-HA cover)," A.C. Newman

Started the new teacher training today, which will be more strenuous and time consuming than I realized. I’m glad I’m doing it and hope I can keep up - it’s going to kick my ass. But. I need something to kick my mind loose of its current groove, is the thing. Everything is a level of perfect that might not be representative of reality and I've got a sinking feeling I'm on thin ice . . . . So anyway, we go pose by pose and perfect them to a teacher-degree of mastery, and now I really realize what it means when they say shit like “two feet in one line from the side”: if you pull your leg up over your head, you can see it in the mirror in front of you and it lines up with the foot on the floor, but sideways where you can’t see it there also has to be two feet in one line and THAT is how the standing splits happens. (Zephi the teacher trainer today, with whom I was supposed to go to Costa Rica, married Mark in September and is several weeks pregnant [double indemnity] so I can hardly complain when she who is trying not to panic or to barf puts my foot where it belongs and the sensation makes a Brazilian wax look like a cakewalk [YAUP!].) Welp, that leaves less room for other thoughts . . .

So guarded is the teacher‘s ‘dialog’ and even more guarded their copyright-threatening modification to it, that I have to look at it only while I’m there. As if I don’t know it in my bones, as if I couldn’t at any moment close my eyes and recite ‘first is pranayama breathing good for your heart and respiratory system feet together toes and heels touching strong legs lock your legs strong foundation interlock your fingers under your chin always touching throughout the posture never lose the contact with your fingers and your chin empty your lungs focus your intentions and begin arms up six seconds through the throat the nose is just a passage way arms up by your ears someday your arms will touch your ears slow it down warming up the body . . . . .’

Saturday, October 31, 2009

"Halloween is awesome! I mean, I get to pull pranks on people, get candy, and scare people out of their skins on ONE NIGHT. This is one of my rib crackingly funny Halloween stories.

Once, when me and my 11 year old brother were 5 and 7, we had weird Halloween. First off, we went to this house that 17 year olds were running away from with wide eyes. Then one of them spotted me. “Ha!”, one of them said, “It’s a little 5 year old!” They laughed. I walked up and told him I was offended,(By that I mean I kicked him in the shins), and they didn’t laugh at me anymore. I decided to go see what all the hubbub was about. To this day I think I owe it to my slow 5 year old reflexes that I got a LOAD of candy that day. I walked down the driveway and a man with a hockey mask and chainsaw ran out yelling. Before my 5 year old reflexes could register anything,(I mean 20 seconds when I say that), He laughed and gave me trash bag bigger than me. Than he dumped a huge barrel of candy into it. Secondly, later that night,(To his eternal shame), my brother jumped ten feet into my dads arms, BECAUSE a body that we had assumed to be a dummy had jumped up.

These are funny because they are odd. If some of the behavior seems odd, you must remember, we were 5 and 7 at the time. Yes, these are TRUE STORIES. As you can most likely see,(If you cannot I may suggest serius help), Halloween is very fun."

Friday, October 30, 2009

my holiday decorations

buddha the witch

kurt cobain o lantern

Thursday, October 29, 2009


No matter how old you become, there will always be a part of you that is still a small child, dreaming about what it will be like to be all grown up. Saturn, our planetary professor, is intent on giving us lessons that will push us to be the kind of people we want to be. He moves into Libra now [out of VIRGO finally! just to clarify that point], focusing his lessons on the realm of relationships.

Think that sounds innocent enough? Sucka! Saturn sticks with you for the better part of 3 years. You'll be way better off by the time he lets you out of cosmic detention, but meanwhile you're working your ass off on yourself by yourself. Look out Libra, here he comes. Me, I'm free now, free to choose . . .

Wantdog random sampler repost playlist:
A Tribe Called Quest- I Left My Wallet in El Segundo (vamp. remix)

certified bananas – kiss the girl (baltimore remix)

Faithless ft. Nina Simone – I Want More

"Wait for Love," Josh Ritter



Raul MidĂłn - Pick Somebody Up (when I got to this one, I pressed repeat repeat repeat)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sunday, October 25, 2009

'the power of 3x3'



I got my yoga teaching certificate yesterday. I left the ceremony at 4:25 and went down the street to practice at my hot yoga studio for the 4:30 class, by which time I had mentioned the cert and the studio ownder informed me that they're going to be transitioning from hot-only to a varied studio - so did I maybe want to teach there? (HELL YES!) The village witch invokes the power of three by three, by which is meant something like 'may your intentions multiply organically'. Three shih tzus, 3 kids, now a 3rd yoga stage of development . . . (husbands: sudden shudder, hahahahahahah)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Matthew Crawley- Heart Of Glass

"The bands that were silken once are apt to become iron fetters when we desire to shake them off. Our souls, after all, are not our own. We convey a property in them to those with whom we associate; but to what extent can never be known, until we feel the tug, the agony, of our abortive effort to resume an exclusive sway over ourselves." - Nathaniel Nawthorne, Blithedale Romance

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

In my dream last night, the High Priestess from the Tarot deck came to life and gave me the following message: "Tell Virgos that when their deep hunger starts to stir, they should not eat from the bowl of delicious seeds. That meager meal would not satisfy their deep hunger. Rather, they should plant those seeds and let them grow up. The resulting harvest will satisfy their deep hunger."
["You are running to seek your friend. Let your feet run, but your mind need not. If you do not find him, will you not acquiesce that it is best you should not find him? for there is a power, which, as it is in you, is in him also, and could therefore very well bring you together, if it were for the best." Emerson]
M. Ward - Fuel For Fire

(the dogs got into the holiday chocolate and man they smell BAD now, holyjesusmarynjoseph)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Feist - Lovertits (with Gonzales)

To extract enough gold to make a wedding ring, a mining company must process a ton of ore. In a similar way, many writers generate a swamp of unusable sentences on their way to distilling the precise message they really want to deliver. Please keep these examples in mind as you evaluate your own recent progress, Virgo. It may seem like you're moving at a crawl and producing little of worth. But according to my analysis of the omens, you're on your way to producing the equivalent of a gold ring.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


too short - I need a freak (I used to have a better version of this, didn't I?)
egyptian lover - i need a freak (was it a remix of this one?)(why do I care? why is skip james somethingsomething stuck in my head? dunno)

for VIRGO You know what you're good at, but sometimes weeks or even months go by before you get the chance to engage in that fun. It's a shame. Make time for your beloved activities. This is how you'll make the world a better place.
The Neville Brothers “Bird On A Wire” (Leonard Cohen)
Caroline Herring: See See Rider
Joe Beats - Sleep Or Bust - [thiev corpsey] - rt clk to save then listen
bonus tracks: Feist - Gatekeeper
Ray LaMontagne - Crazy

Friday, October 16, 2009




WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Exercise your power. Someone notices you when you flex. TAURUS: Lay your down your boundaries - you want someone to add to your life. GEMINI: You'll be tempted to overdo things, but it will help if you're around centered, stable people who aren't prone to excess. CANCER: You know and like who you are -- a very attractive quality. LEO: You celebrate your independence, but someone else would like it if you would need him or her -- just a little. VIRGO: Approach the one you're interested in. It will go well. LIBRA: You have your own style. Stick with what has been working for you. SCORPIO: You're a prize. Be wise and selective about who you let into your world. SAGITTARIUS: Take the initiative in your life. You are the director of your own picture. CAPRICORN: Let financial issues go. Dwelling on them will only hold you back from love. AQUARIUS: Your self-sufficiency might scare off someone who is weak -- and that's a good thing. PISCES: Your confidence springs from one fact: You know how to make your own dreams come true.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009



green walls: story

Emily Lacy: The Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song (Jeffrey Lewis) "if I were a song writing master, I'd know to get the oral sex first and write the song after" la la laa

Monday, October 12, 2009




[heehee]

Sunday, October 11, 2009

update: the voice of america piece about strawbale houses - the range of comment locations is the cool part


in other news, today was the psychic fair, where I was informed that I was Greek in a past life. (better than in this one? hahahahahhaha) (I'm at a loss for a meaningful reaction to that factoid, actually) (except the part about the "key" I will get by investigating the philosophical system of a friend more closely)


Neko Case - “Middle Cyclone”

the lucksmiths - a sobering thought (reapost)

Friday, October 09, 2009

holy shit! and he won for "a climate of hope" that has "captured the imagination" - is that a spiritual thang, or what?! update: flies in the ointment. still though, I gotta think that the prize gives more weight to Obama's moral authority for fighting these battles. I'm chalking this day up to the optimism mojo despite all flies, cz hope is way more badass than scepticism for me to pull off.

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Consider whether you should renegotiate a relationship arrangement. TAURUS: You see flaws in yourself, but a loved one thinks you're perfect. GEMINI: You understand what will motivate someone to get more involved with you, and you use what you know. CANCER: A sweetheart needs something, and you meet the need as directly as possible. LEO: A loved one may interpret your quiet focus on yourself and your work as disinterest. Take a break to tend to this person. VIRGO: It's nice to be needed, but avoid clingy types. [uh oh, JohnJohn comes home this weekend. something tells me I'm about to get my leg humped.] LIBRA: Give yourself all the adoration you deserve and soon others will want to lavish you with love, too. SCORPIO: Someone shows love by trying to help you solve a problem. SAGITTARIUS: If you have to constantly reassure someone of your love, it will get old. Another person's insecurity is not your fault. CAPRICORN: You'll be admired for how tender you are with children and for your generally openhearted dealings with others. AQUARIUS: Love the way your loved one is, flaws and all. PISCES: You'll meet someone who can help you do something you've always wanted to do but haven't had the opportunity to do until now.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Wednesday, October 07, 2009



more work on the living roof, which always puts me in a worldhopeful mood except for witnessing BaleD some kinda killing himself-speaking of whom, his bale house was showcased this last weekend in the local portion of the national green buildings tours of homes and is "WNY's greenest house" as well as solar construction of the year - he won't send me the actual links bc he says that's too vain (in an age when people make a business of directing web traffic to their miscarriages for christ sake [eyeroll]) so more info on the zero-energy aspects of the building at a variety of older sites like here for instance. there's also a Voice of America piece about the house this last week, but I can't find the damn thing yet [eyeroll]

work soundtrack, his picks of mine:
"How I Got Over," The Roots
natural self - feet keep moving
"People Get Ready (Impressions cover)," Seal
the allman bros - midnight rider
Solomon Burke - None of Us are Free
bonus track:
Kings of Convenience – I Don't Know What I Can Save You From

Saturday, October 03, 2009

bru ce spring steen - cover me
bonus track - book of dreams

Thursday, October 01, 2009

update: does anybody remember Johnie Walker Red the puppy? affectionately called "JohnJohn" - ? I might have only told FPH about him given the name thing. JohnJohn was the pup that the breeder had set aside for a stud. he was actually bought by them from show dog stud stock for $2k and I just loved that pup - every time I was coming and going with Jedi and then he had to be returned bla bla, every time I'd see JohnJohn and he'd leap into my arms and literally howlgroan with recognition and pleasure. even if I had matched the 2k, which would have been crazy, still they couldn't let him go as he had been specifically chosen for the lines he came from to infuse the bitch stock with supplemental genes to offset their bites and coats in various ways. a beauty that puppy was, glossy red triple coated so when he laid down on the floor he looked like a small exquisite yoga rug. I told him, "have crappy little testicles or something and then we can be together". the breeder overheard me and chided me a little, bc after all they'd invested a lot in that stud muffin and they're not rich people . . . and the breeder remembered what I'd said to the dog and wrote to me today when JohnJohn decided to drop only one of his nuts and remove himself from the stud business before he even got started. the breeder says I cast a spell on the pup. obviously, I don't NEED a dog. but, welp, I told JohnJohn that we could be together if that's what he wanted, and having grown quite careful about such statements, I intend to mean what I say. and thus the breeder is giving me the dog for free since obviously that was really the puppy I went there for, fatewise, such that even the dog himself concured.

went to a tarot party last night where the 'gifted', as Amy put it, read for the newbies - I blew it outa the water if I do say so myselps. thing is, people tell you all sorts of things if you can go even quieter than both their not-saying and your own
[p.s. it's f'n cold here, and I swear I hear mice . . . .]

Saturday, September 26, 2009

baleD wilcox - god is on a bender

I'm still coughing up wads of self-pity, too recovered to die and too sick to consider that a good thing >:(

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I think I might have swine flu - I'm 1000 degrees and wondering delirious if flu is like labor pain, ie you think you might have it until you really do and then realize o it doesn't feel like you might die, it feels more like you already died and you're in hell and God is a dickhead. I hope so. Cuz I feel like I might die.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


"Lifting belly what is earnest. Expecting an arena to be monumental.
Lifting belly is recognized to be the only spectacle present. Do you mean that.
Lifting belly is a language. . .
I want to tell about fire. Fire is that which we have when we have olive. Olive is a wood. We like linen. Linen is ordered. We are going to order linen.
All belly belly well.
Bed of coals made out of wood.
I think this one may be an expression. We can understand heating and burning composition. Heating with wood." - Gertrude Stein, "Lifting Belly"
----

Today, Virgo, the future is your canvass, so get ready to paint your life on it. Begin the day by painting the background and save the details for last. Savoir every detail, because these may become the details you live by. You may have the opportunity to secure your future to your liking.
[is that how you spell canvas?] [wait a minute, is that how you spell savor? no, SAVOIR means 'capacity for appropriate action'. I can't spell for shit but I know stuff like what words mean, I'm an English professor - right?]
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It's the autumnal equinox today. The days of Virgo end when the days of summer end. I go fallow on the same day that the earth does, earthly thru and thru. I'm home sick with sick little boys today, all stuffy nosed and fever headachey. I had fallen asleep again in my little puddle of frumpy bluck when I woke to the sound of a ladder and thought it was a loud dream, but no, it was the Roofer Friend Guy clamoring up to inspect my mysterious and stubborn wood-killing leak. He says he'll come back in late October to "take a deep breath and open the can of worms", coincidentally when Saturn will be finally leaving my sign after nearly 3 years that I've been in karmic detention. I'm wondering hotheaded sleepily if today will have been the day I should have named him for the blog. RFG? Or something with a little Native mojo, i.e. "ShitsonWindshields"? Let me ask the 8-ball (pause): "Better not tell you now."

"Earthly Bodies," J. Tillman - love the Gertrudey first verse

Sunday, September 20, 2009

houses made of "garbage"

I just can't get enough of this stuff. And I've made all the money I ever have by being a houseslut, so I just know that my being all hot and bothered by green building = $ and not just BaleD's animal magnetism. Buffalo is the #4th strongest housing market in the country and still appreciating faster than the national historic average. O, if only I could build shit! Mark my words, green+buffalo = worth a fortune.

Meanwhile, I adore the "treehouse", that woodburning stove is to die for:

slideshow
article

Saturday, September 19, 2009

too funny to be a horror story


been hanging out w Officer and MilknCookies. they have a firepit and a patio of pavers and an assortment of chairs and his/hers coolers stocked with beer and mango boozecoolers respectively. sometimes his friends come over and they tell stories of incredibly bad cop behaviors, all drunk and utterly retarded and sometimes very funny. and, inevitably, at times there is a notable equalizing of the party numbers by there being one man there without a woman attached to him (eyeroll) which is always annoying and yet kind of amusing to see reflected back at me what I come off as, measured by what I'm imagined paired with. clearly, I'm going up in value, generally speaking. if I'm "a professor" and/or "a yoga spiritual something person", there's pigeon chested IT guys and/or men whose sensitivity has yet to be appreciated. Officer tossed into the mix this weekend one of his oldest friends, with whom he has shared so much bad behavior that it could add up to a Jackass sequel. the theme of the night's stories was "shit", as in the time they made shitdip with ritz crackers for a party as a joke, the times they shit in one another's houseplants and bathroom sinks for a joke, etc. my favorite: the time the friend took a shit on the windshield of another friend's car, which was parked on Delaware Ave. in a busy traffic area, in broad daylight, and it turned out not to be the friend's car actually. hey, that and the guy is a roofer = my stock is rising with the neighbors, clearly, and I'm "a regular person" to them at this point. that's cool. but no chemistry between the guy and me, of course, as I sat on the other side of the gathering and hugged a shih tzu to me like body armor, and he drank vodka straight out of a tim hortons cup until he fell stone asleep sitting up and one of his friends picked his nose.

The Concretes - Miss You (it's a moka link so you have to rt click save to open it, but it's a really good Stones cover)

Friday, September 18, 2009

The fish died.

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You hold a loved one in high esteem, and it shows in your actions. TAURUS: You will be treated in a way that makes you feel important and valued. GEMINI: It's time for you to advance the ball in a relationship. CANCER: Work on the fundamentals of being happy, and your love life will naturally start to move in a favorable direction. LEO: Get some white space in your calendar. Too many activities will make you feel less loving. VIRGO: Share happy stories with a loved one, and steer clear of horror stories. LIBRA: You and a loved one are equals. Resolve together that neither will take the other for granted. SCORPIO: Avoid being too selfless, as it will backfire and you'll feel resentful. Do something just for you. SAGITTARIUS: Dream up a wonderful bit of fun you can have with a partner, and then make it happen. CAPRICORN: You'll express appreciation to a certain someone and will receive lots of love in return. AQUARIUS: You're open to suggestions, and you'll be around someone who has some truly great ones! PISCES: Someone wants to hear your stories and asks all the right questions to get you to open up.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Friday, Sept. 18, brings the new moon in Virgo, the most productive moon of the year. This is the perfect start date to launch an organizational, fitness or life makeover project. Create a ritual to celebrate your new beginning and to energize your endeavor and give it the best chance of succeeding. Air signs: (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) Those born under the air element respond beautifully to breathing exercises. With a pen, divide a piece of notebook paper into two columns. Label one side "in" and one side "out." On the "in" side, list the behaviors, habits, things and people you will be adding to your world. On the "out" side, list what you will leave behind in order to make room for the new. Then quietly sit and consciously breathe in an item from your "in" list and out an item from your "out" list. Work through the whole list and repeat. Water signs: (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) Have you ever tossed coins into a wishing well? This works like magic for water signs. You can vary the ritual by wishing on pebbles and then throwing them into the sea, a lake or a fountain. Fire signs: (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius): In order to move forward with your new plan, you'll need to let go of other things that have been taking the place of these actions. What will you be saying "no" to in order to say "yes" to your new life? List those activities, feelings and people on a piece of paper. Write a formal goodbye letter to your "no" activities. Say your ending salutation out loud, and toss the paper into the lit fireplace or fire pit. Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn): Choose a few small symbols of your old life, as well as a few symbols of your new life. Find a patch of earth and dig a hole. Bury the symbols of your old life in the ground, all the while saying goodbye. Place the symbols of your new life on a shelf or other place where you will see them often and daily.

Future Love Paradise - Seal

Wednesday, September 16, 2009



tj couldn't take his eyes off this, fascinated and horrified and mystified altogether

Sunday, September 13, 2009




This town breaks into festivals every other weekend all summer long, food and rides and tents and music emerging into place as if up out of the ground. Peaches came into season, so it’s the Peach Festival. Fried dough, hot dogs, souvlaki served up by St. George volunteers, peach cobbler and peach pop, maple lollipops and maple cotton candy . . . and the tilt-o-whirl, on which TJ yells out in glee “my penis feels tickley!” The bandstand goes all day, all night, with “Lady Line Dancers” in sequined outfits, gloved girls dancing to “Beat It” in competition for the title of Peach Queen. We won a fish by getting the ball into the libray fundraising bowl, and we named him Silver. Finally the Elvis impersonator takes the stage as we walk off toward the dregs of sunset over Lake Ontario. Ears looks out at the waterhorizon, so big it scares him and he leans into me, "It makes me feel like everything might end."




Saturday, September 12, 2009

"Rain," Anjulie

" . . . this glowing mountain heart reminds me of you."
---
But if I can bear the nights, the days are a pleasure. I walk out; I see something, some event that would otherwise have been utterly missed or lost; or something sees me, some enormous power brushes me with its clean wing, and I resound like a beaten bell.
Annie Dillard, Pilgram at Tinker Creek
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Love. The black hook. The spear singing through the mind. . . . I was rippling gold. My breasts were bare and my nipples flashed and winked. Diamonds tipped them. I could walk through panes of glass. I could walk through windows.
Louise Erdrich, 'Saint Marie'
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Gabor Szabo, guitar; Ron Carter, bass; Willie Bobo and Victor Pantoja, percussion; Chico Hamilton, drums "Spellbinder"

Friday, September 11, 2009


WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You're a great conversationalist when you ask questions and give the floor to others. TAURUS: You'll say things in the proper way in order to preserve someone's feelings and show respect. GEMINI: This very minute, the one you want is seeking you, too. CANCER: You'll have positive conversations that motivate others. LEO: To have fun -- that is a noble purpose. Any move you make toward that end will contribute to your legacy. VIRGO: Ask for what you need and you will be answered with action that improves your quality of life. LIBRA: Doing what makes you happy brings you together with potential partners or closer to an existing partner. SCORPIO: Keep your own secrets! SAGITTARIUS: You'll be running errands for a loved one. Make sure this person is aware of all you do and doesn't take you for granted. CAPRICORN: Write a love letter to yourself. This will raise your self-esteem and attractiveness. AQUARIUS: You don't mind putting time into making sure your loved one is happy. After all, your relationships deserve to be handled with care. PISCES: Ask open-ended questions and you'll learn fascinating new information about someone dear.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Environment Report: A House Made of Straw




This is the story on npr this morning about BaleD's house - He loves those boulders he thought up, and they are pretty nifty. I wish they'd have talked about how the house is going to produce a paycheck from the utility companies for its owner, and about how breathtaking it is to be in . . . The pic above is the view in the house from the loft bedroom, through the trees he widdled into columns and the railing he made of cable (kinda hard to see bc they glint the sun), of the "tree carving" he gouged (with his finger?) into the plaster as it dried.


Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Sunday, September 06, 2009

city and colour - what makes a man [if you might know, tell me]
gomez - see the world
joe purdy - day lament

for Virgo: If you want to learn how to do something like have a lasting, happy relationship, you have to practice. Relationships need to be cared for and tended to just like a garden. One way to learn is to ask advice from a friend - they may have all the answers you are looking for.

[I gardened alllllll day in the perfect cool sunshine. Adonis butterfly bush, delphiniums, blue geraniums, bluebeard, coral bells in citrine and purple, roses, phlox, bee balm, spurge, hardy mums, red sedum, honey suckle, solomon seal, ligularia. Alone.]

Saturday, September 05, 2009


went to a summer culmination thing tonight - I brought the easiest part, wine and chocolate, bc I was at a funeral this week then sick bla bla - the others brought music and whole gardens full of dried flowers and oils and herbs and intentions . . . we all demanded what we'll get in the year to come. then we did the 'thanks' for what we have part, and everyone including me had to agree that I've got an eviable lot. great kids, great friends, great job, great house, great health, knock on wood. it was mostly a love-missing thing tonight, regarding people lost or not yet found or gone off, etc. but even still, I've got a windfall of blessings and I had no trouble imagining what's missing either, which seems like some kind of blessing in its way too. it's better than having ________ there in your mind/heart.
p.s. Here's a short list of suggested activities to make the most of the next few hours: Clean, sort, talk to friends, e-mail, handle business, send out the mail, organize, pay bills, handle transportation issues and charge your phone. Mercury goes retrograde Sunday, and for the rest of the month, it might be more challenging to get to some of these tasks.

Friday, September 04, 2009


The full Pisces moon tonight offers spiritual awakening. As with most natural processes, this one is not to be forced. We need only to be open to experiencing a different kind of awareness, however momentary it may be. This is not designed to be a lasting state. Let your mind expand and contract as you breathe in the passing moments.
WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You find new things to appreciate in the one you've known forever. TAURUS: Your eye for quality will be useful to those who don't know the difference. GEMINI: You warm people up and get them talking. You'll be asked to accompany a shy individual. CANCER: You have abilities that you don't even consider talents until someone points it out to you on Saturday. LEO: Be thoughtful as you relate to family. It will now affect all of your relationships. VIRGO: Having a bit of ego will serve you well. You deserve to be noticed and will be. LIBRA: Move your body. You're as lucky in love as you are active. SCORPIO: Your attention to current styles will pay off. You're seen as fresh and interesting. SAGITTARIUS: You'll be accepted in a whole new world. CAPRICORN: The ones who know you well might be so used to your ideas that they don't react much. But someone finds you always exciting. AQUARIUS: You know what you want, so go where it is and get what you came for. PISCES: You are protective of a certain sweet loved one, though this one might not be as innocent as you think.

Monday, August 31, 2009


You don't have to think long and hard about your direction in life. You know where you're going, and this year a detailed and formally written plan will help you get there. A new alliance in September is helpful all year. Invest in equipment or real estate in November. December brings a show of affection and respect. Libra and Capricorn people adore you. Lucky numbers are: 49, 4, 28, 41 and 30.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

watched grandmas boy (the funniest part is where he jacks off on a laura croft barbie doll, fyi) and russel brand stand up and went to the jazz festival twice to see Rick (piano) and then LMG a couple of times and drank quite a bit and talked of god and politics (love that),

(whiplash:) and now I'm off for the memorial service, a 1-day tour-de-buzzkill, during which I'm scheduled to see my other grandma who just got treatment for 'scabies' whatever that is and no I don't want to know, and after that we get fumigated, then we head over to the other gig by way of seeing my new nephew for nanoseconds and then home again before the dogs need to pee . . .

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


sunrise meditations kick my ass - I come back home, fall back into bed like a brick, and dream of being in alaska with my head wrapped trying to read the sky with a man I can feel but only see if my eyes are closed (which makes the sky reading together tricky)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Swati, I’m On Fire (Springsteen)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


(though you couldn't necessarily tell . . . )

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


No more rotten dessert, Virgo. No more silky danger or juicy poison. No more worthless treasures or empty successes or idiotic brilliance. Soon all those crazy-making experiences will be gone, blasted, dead. By this time next week, the bad influences that were trying to pass themselves off as good influences will have fallen away in response to your courageous drive for authenticity. You will be primed to restore your innocence and play in places where purity is the rule, not the exception. Already, the wisdom of your wild heart is regenerating, giving you the strength to overthrow the sour, life-hating influences that were threatening to smother your spirit.

[welp, if you can't join em beat em]