uhhh I think blogger struck me down for talking about sex and AA congruently - I tried to be brave and let the first few chapters of the novel stand alone. And then blogger told me no one is allowed to read this crazy shit 🤨

I should not laugh. Every loophole of socio emotional mental survival seems to have been found and blocked. I can't get around it. No, I don't know how to get around it. And the tools that I am given to use to get around it are not trustworthy, they give me false answers and lead me down roads of wasted effort. 

I should not laugh because I should have noticed this before. But I didn't honestly want to communicate with anybody for a long time. The stupid scrapbooking was perfect for here, like adding new pictures to a sidewalk grave marker. 

(sigh)