Better Use Of Opposable Thumbs (genre: vignette)
She spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining a food fight at work today, something about cake frosting making it hurt less for a night, while I, who had buried a rabbit-shit cache in the yard three weeks earlier and remembered exactly where it was, couldn't help noticing that humans routinely squander their opposable thumbs on regrettable texts instead of opening cheese packages.
A waste, she says. I agree. But she's talking about her body in the mirror wearing underwear, not cheese, though, to be fair, the underwear will be pretty tasty later when she kicks it off, damp from another hot night.
"There are worse addictions, boy," she says when I've shredded yet another absurdly expensive pair of buttfloss, scratching behind my ears.
She's not bad to belong to, overall, though the new phone and those remarkable human thumbs could still get us into trouble. If only she'd stop typing and choose cheese.
