there - one little change to who runs to the store / fetches berries for the cake - if you follow the cake you find the additional kid whose errand means 

this never happens.

Has anyone else ever noticed? The changing kinship diagram, of course. Where the impact exactly occurs? At the cake ingredients? No. And what paragraph (food making as intentionally infused love ideology in The Wife) must go missing specifically because of the shift in berries? No. Not that fuckergpt can find, anyway. That's a me thing. 

When I feel like I am going to fucking die, I just can't help it I'm just gonna die 💔 now, I follow cats and cakes around in Louise Erdrich for dear life. And go baking cooking butter-making batshit.

I have blogged that passage from The Wife before. When I was a wife. And we didn't keep a kid alive. I came back to strawberries (milk), then and now, when something rocked my world enough to stop it entirely. It's not one of my favorites of the novels, but twice I've reached for that cake, this story, that paragraph, around a pain reverberating through my body uncontrollably. 

I don't know how to write about reading like that. So I put it here.