But I did.
So I snuck up there and stole his boots (laces) then chased the dogs up there to lay on him.
72 hours is only going to return us to this in 72 hours. There's no detox for not wanting to wake up anymore.
If it weren't for the fucking cat, I think I'd drive him to WI, or anywhere. Alaska.
If it weren't for the fucking cat, I might get him a kitten.
I have no fucking idea what to do.
💔
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Success is no longer doing the job you already know you can do. Now it's doing the job that only you can do. Success is reaching for the impossible and expecting to fail gloriously and often.
Well, I'm all that's here, so only I can do whatever it is but all I do is fail at keeping people breathing, often but I don't see any glory. Like there's no detox there's also no clot to suck, and even if there were, I wouldn't know how.
How did I keep living this long? I had no choice (kids). And lust, probably, as in lust for life - even when life shattered, under was lust for it still somewhere in me. Now there is just life. I honestly don't blame the kid for wanting out of that. So do I.
💔
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| = my sister trying to badger her into living which for Jen means blue frosting vs that's the day dad died but somewhere under there, my mother never forgets that = she doesn't want to keep waking up. why should she? to remember? who the fuck wants to remember what's never coming back? for a while, I was like but I am coming back, I am still alive, remember me? but I learned, spent a year learning, that's not enough. there has to be something to look forward to even if all you can do is look back. and there isn't. except more of this, status:quo. |
what was in the kool-aid at Jonestown? did they all just go to sleep? could I put it in blue frosting?
