terror and grief have shrunken my heart to a stone cold fist

just when I was gonna work on getting a little nicer-feeling-ish, ha. Ears would find that funny 😭

I tried praying but failed. I don't believe in anything I don't give the slightest shit about anything else, I just want my kid back 😭

how did Huckforcats say it? something like what is the point of being sober where is the comfort I am a human being everybody needs warmth, something like that. he was right, there is no point to this, it never gets better, it only ever gets harder and colder 😭

💔 I am heartbroken

half a sandwich yesterday

just the thought of food makes me sick even tho shaking weak from empty now

that is how I die

not gonna move from this bed, gonna read myself to death until my sister gets here 😭