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| now it's today. nothing is funny. |
is he trying not to cry?
"getting the help he needs", the line to fall for, I fell for. let's apply that equally. let's alllll get the fucking help you need. Right fucking now. YOU ARE TAKEN, surely something (many things!) in your mind needs helped and now you're gonna get it, like it or not, by terrifying you, holding you away from family, refusing you any agency, until you have developed the skill of simpering. defeated enough, mastering the art "okay" as if the lobotomy has worked wonders. now don't you feel better? (best say yes)
dinner for lunch, max comfort. the chicken thing. and books. my sister ordered everything Erdrich has written, one a day for another week. I will read same as fast as he does (you couldn't do that either). strategies of resistance. stay alive taking shallow breaths.
just endure it, baby. the day they let you out of there, we are running.
