after allll that, I got there and they shoved him through the door at me like I'd ordered a pizza 👀. what he wants first, a haircut and shave from lovely Brynn so we texted the salon from the parking lot.

it was, in its way, surprisingly hearwarming. one thing that has been quietly happening has been in the waiting room, where I was every day and not everybody speaks English in there. in fact, I'd say 2/3 of the families didn't and the loved one inside is the one who does speak natively. they thought it would get their person in trouble to come every day - no, I tell them, the Community Somebodies all taught me: show up every day, even if the relationship is currently strained, it matters that there are people for the inmate, that they won't have nowhere to go. the women in hijab, in particular, scared of the scrubs and scared about how their person is handling shit (angrily). I hear that! but don't, try not to get angry, they want to see you be calm through set-backs and disappointments, tell your person that. I am giving out these tips as I learn them, every day. I hadn't noticed the waiting room filling up more over this time. but when they shoved him through the door, a little sea of strangers were overjoyed as if they knew him cz through me they kinda did and were so hopeful to witness his release, like a small victory for everybody. one guy said, "when my kid gets out, Im'a have me a scotch even if my wife don't approve!" laughing and telling me to go have a chardonnay now girl!, everyone patting him and smiling at me. we got on the elevator, him laughing like wtaf was that?! dude, it's been a very long weird couplefew weeks for us both. 

us: 🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

he loves the puerto rico volunteer gig idea. he asked for 10 weeks off work, emphatically, sticking up for himself at discharge, so that he would have the time to figure shit like that out. metlife disability is wawa'ing to get an estimated return to work date, welp now they have it: 10 weeks from today. (And then he's quitting.)

he is upstairs unpacking, happily settling in to his new home, filling his little pill per day holder thingy so he won't forget anything, arranging where he wants his books and tv... 

I am lying here feeling apx 1000 years older ft gone through a meat grinder. everything kinda hurts. but I'll bounce (if nobody else starts trying to god damn die for a spell 🙏)