I am so tired.

I am so tired.

remember these? all 22 of the little collages are going to hang in a gallery show in Buffalo tomorrow

She gave me the lines to follow
and as long as I am here
I won't fall completely
if I follow those lines

because the thing about falling apart
it doesn't go away
time doesn't have that Magic

distance is one thing
but Magic is something else
and there are some falling aparts
there is no Magic can fix it
john trudell

coherent
1550s, from M.Fr. cohérent (16c.), from L. cohaerentem (nom. cohaerens), prp. of cohaerere "cohere," from com- "together" (see co-) + haerere "to stick" (see hesitation).

we as human beings if we take responsibility for our lives and live our lives in a coherent manner, as coherent as we possibly can any way, we will have influence

memories fill my reason . .
weeping to wash the spirit

continue to struggle
resist
john trudell

in the end I'll know why I did what I did but that end isn't in the past, it's in the present and immediate future. I think that's the only place that we actually live. so, there's nothing to do but decide one day to seek actions that are 'do what thou wilt so long as it harm none' and trust yourself from that moment forward to be doing that and then live, do what thou wilt.

(from the Due Date soundtrack)

VIRGO You value family to such an extent that you feel the impetus to raise and teach relatives who aren't your children. Perhaps this has to do with taking care of your parents or another extension of your clan.

I'm gonna start a charter school. Can I sue for my school tax money back if I start a charter school? What is the minimum number of other people's children would I need I wonder . . . (etc etc plotting the overthrow of the state, etc)

"Something in his body altered subtly at my response. It wasn't his pulse, since he didn't have much of a pulse. Instead there was a sound - a catch in his throat that sent a shock of desire through me. The resulting changes in my body were neither slight nore subtle. My bones turned to fire, and my hands crept down his back and slid lower. He floated his hand down to cup my left breast, stroking the fabric over the sensitive skin between my arm and my heart. With is other hand at my waist, he pulled me more tightly against him."

Uranus' departure from your relationship sector today creates a major turning point, with his departure bringing some challenging years on the relationship front to a close. Uranus is your only link to the past and as he leaves the forces ready to take you into the future quickly fill the void, taking you into the next phase. [well, I like the 'quickly' part anyway]

guilty pleasure of Saturday afternoons, I've begun reading "magic" novels, with fraught romantic plots involving transgenerational crimes and passion and phrases like "he kissed me twice in the French manner"

Dogs may also show up in dreams as guides, much like seeing eye dogs. They may be leading us into worlds we can't see but which they navigate with ease. Look at the surroundings in the dream and see where the dog is leading you. This can be a key clue in interpreting the dream. The dog may be leading you toward an area of your life that you may be having trouble seeing or 'looking at'.

He was totally adorable. Sturdy lookin, like a bulldog or boxer adolescent, beautiful chestnut brown fur and a big soft muzzle. I was petting it and thinking "I can't keep it; but I want to; maybe I could try" - but it was untrained, not a pup anymore and full of bad habits, it peed on the leg of my velvet red sofa (not that I actually have a velvet sofa, of course) (though I wish I did), then rolled over on its back for me to pet its tummy and I thought "I can't keep it; but I want to; maybe I could try; I really probably shouldn't bother; it won't work out; what would I have to do to be able to keep this?" and he was so damn cute so I scratched his belly and noticed he hadn't been neutered, had BIG balls, and I thought "well that's the problem right there".

VIRGO You may not consciously realize this, but every day you are making yourself more and more indispensible to someone's life. Likely, it's your stellar work ethic that's to blame!

[snort]

magnetic fields - reno dakota

ben l'oncle soul - seven nation army

tracy bonham - in my heart - ouch

lindsay mac - use me - very odd, but yeah, it works

melissa bell - ain't no sunshine

monsters are waiting - I want to be adored (stone roses cover)
stone roses - I want to be adored 3 a.m. stereo77 re-edit - I like this version, takes out the "adored" (is that a euphemism or what? I don't want to be euphemismed) part and adds man-fur feel

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You will have a "wow" connection with someone -- this is worth pursuing. TAURUS: You'll give your respect, and this is taken as a sign of affection and love. GEMINI: You're prepared to do whatever it takes to make your loved one happy. CANCER: Everyone shows love differently. Find out what makes another person feel loved, and show your affection in that preferred method. LEO: Your encouragement means the world to a loved one. VIRGO: Make the necessary changes to your domestic environment to attract love. Apply the principles of feng shui. LIBRA: Pinpoint what's missing from a relationship, and provide it. SCORPIO: You will put your creativity to the task of making love exciting and new. SAGITTARIUS: It's easier for you to meet another person's needs when you know what they are. Ask! CAPRICORN: Because a harmonious relationship is important to you, you'll be willing to adjust your thinking. AQUARIUS: With every bit of your being, you want to be in love. But it has to feel real for you, or it doesn't count. PISCES: You'll have that "meant to be" feeling.

fuck, man alive, what a day

knockknock
who's there?
control freak now you say control freak who
(pause)
hahahahaahaha

sick and defenseless, I lie here while they watch crap