during

"harvest moon coming"

Update: negative.

https://www.mybostonheart.com/pub/MyResults.aspx (not available not available..)

I had us all tested within an hour of arrival. Still waiting. What good does that do?? That's horseshit

Meanwhile I'm already out of patience. I don't have the ability to hide that as I once did. The men before this one for the best of me, I'm afraid.

Bonus track.

before

Wisconsin added to New York, New Jersey quarantine travel advisory
https://www.tmj4.com/news/coronavirus/wisconsin-added-to-new-york-quarantine-travel-advisory

That broke when Nebraska was about half an hour from my Sister's, deployed to bring my mother here.

No way to call it off. I tell him: please don't sleep, just go/come. Then he goes quiet.

I remember when I LOVED. I would have fantasy tests: what would I do for you? Risk my life, check!
That wasn't what was ever asked of me, however. So I always failed.

Now: Would I risk my life for your mother? A:

I feel as if I owe one (repost) I love her.

Bonus track - you have got to be fucking kidding me. Thing is, yes they are dying, they're DYING OF WHITENESS. If I live until November, I'll see Metzl again, and this time I won't be shy. I'm out of my depth, granted, but we all are now.

florabama - jjgrey ft mofro

Bonus: walk off the earth - old time road 

We live in a banana republic of our own racist making.

Bonus track.

I dreamed I saw him years from now and I know the moment is true in time and it DOES happen. I will have been dead for a long while, and that will have been harder than he expects. He tells me that he is okay now. But that is a long way off ft. it won't be okay any time soon.

keep the wolves away - uncle lucias

The Solar Eclipse in Capricorn Will Help Us Find Truth

Hope you're not hiding anything!!!! 

cleaning supplies

Bug (is a morning person)

Truth hurts.

My kids. They're so young yet now all adults, navigating the shit I tried to and failed quite, through teenage pregnancy through lesbian communes through multiple failed pledges to love forever..well, that last one I probably did do, but found out loving someone forever doesn't even mean you'll ever see them again, and that was before a pandemic to factor in. The world keeps spinning, clearly hopelessly awobble.

I am awake at janitor hours still. Approaching shift change. Giving report.

I am online shopping and arranging my mother's visit. As in any July. I wrote in my journal last year that I would never bring anyone to my hideaway in the mountains again. The owners don't even rent it anymore except to me, for pity's sake, a widow and all. But the only way to get my mother to me is through Nebraska.

I tried this with FPH, what Nebraska does with me. Dog loyalty, "being there", I get underwear in the mail. None of it worked. Or did it? It's hard to say anymore who wound up really meaning anything to anybody. Who would you risk kissing/hugging? Is that the measure? (insert mental experiment here)

"all is but an intermission, of small and tender consequence", Patti Smith

How did they do this?🤔