update: called MHLS, law says he's supposed to be assigned an advocate from them automatically, that is a lie, he can ask for one after 60 days, even tho he's not allowed/able to do any such thing (and bitched me out for even asking, of course). my heart is already black ice. "okay" and hung up no more worse for the wear as I 💯 do not trust any of this, any of them, any anybody. just going thru the legal motions so I can document having done what I was told, and the punishment that resulted. status: 🖤
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| now it's today. nothing is funny. |
is he trying not to cry?
"getting the help he needs", the line to fall for, I fell for. let's apply that equally. let's alllll get the fucking help you need. Right fucking now. YOU ARE TAKEN, surely something (many things!) in your mind needs helped and now you're gonna get it, like it or not, by terrifying you, holding you away from family, refusing you any agency, until you have developed the skill of simpering. defeated enough, mastering the art "okay" as if the lobotomy has worked wonders. now don't you feel better? (best say yes)
dinner for lunch, max comfort. the chicken thing. and books. my sister ordered everything Erdrich has written, one a day for another week. I will read same as fast as he does (you couldn't do that either). strategies of resistance. stay alive taking shallow breaths.
just endure it, baby. the day they let you out of there, we are running.