speaking of female health, I canceled my dense-tits test in the a.m. cz there's no way this kid can drive, navigate Bailey, then the intake, without being rattled into agitated desperocity. he invented that word. 

meanwhile, I remember fear becoming contempt then disgust, an algorithm that comes back to me like riding a bike, as his bully father bullies me by text increasingly, getting smaller and smaller in my view then in my review. I will do all of this by myself. and draw that idiot's fire away from Ears by humoring his rants and demands too. he is such a small man, it nauseates me. my parents even got together on hating his guts. his own parents humor him, everyone humors him, afraid of making him even worse. meaner. his meanness hides his uselessness from himself, not from anyone else. I have too little respect for him to hate him. and I don't want anything from him, no matter how much this costs or takes, I wouldn't take a dime or his time. I just wish I could throatpunch him and crush his larnyx, shut him the fucking hell up for good. 🤔 and take a hammer to his fingers so no more texting either. some people are just shitty and never look in mirrors. there's nothing to be done with people like that but stay out of striking distance. Ears can't do that, ie protect himself, because he loves his dad and doesn't know how to do that safely. the man makes my brain's flesh crawl. 

this is going to suck for a long time. the kid isn't dead, that is the important thing. to stay that way, for a while he's gotta stay wayyy under my wing not just back in the nest. my 🖤 has feathers, poofed out in cold hostile defense of this chick everywhichfuckingway