"You never know when a time is the last time, because if you did you could never go on with life." Leave the World Behind

I'm reading a book about the end of the world in the middle of the end of my world. The people are in a comfortable safe place. They should stay there. They are eating and fucking and walking around naked and tidying and drinking too much. 

I miss my hot tub. I wish I had it now. I would refill it and get in it. I can't remember the last time I floated in it. Did I ever do so alone after? I can't remember. I should have. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't have moved at all. The people in the book have a hot tub, which if the world is ending seems handy. It made my ass cold to read about it, lying in my expensive bed alone, so I moved my ice cube ass to my tub, where for the millionth time I look at my feet beneath shitty tile. And listen to sirens and mercy flights. 

"Parenthood was never knowing what was going to hurt your kids, but knowing only that something, inevitably, would."