susan tedeschi - you got the silver - she was at Art Park tnite

VIRGO Imagine that you are looking into a magic mirror and seeing the person you want to become. You have the inner power to be that version of you today.

I could use less bad attitude towards hetero partnering habits. Some of the things my friends put up with seem lunatic to me, and I pay too much attention to that. Like I was out with a friend of mine and her husband recently, some guy she knew said "hi" in a "you look great" kinda way and she was totally sweating it, fearing her hubby would punch the guy just for talking to her. Is that not nutty?! Crow said once that maybe I'd have to "get rid of all my guys" if I hooked up with someone. Liiiike? (wtf?) Like not talk to him, or to FPH. Like what if we got together ever and he wouldn't want me talking to FPH, for instance. Here's me: WHAT?! That's insane. I'd never be down with that. X used to get pissed if I talked to MY OWN MOTHER too much, was always jealous of DmS, I'd forgotten to even consider that kind of lunacy entering my life again. Oh, no way. Oppressive Insecurities are not going to go running around here like untrained shih tzus, forget it (armscrossy). I bought a dress the other day, a killer cobalt pencil party dress, for over $100, and I have nowhere to wear such a thing (I'm not about to win an emmy, duh), but it's smokin hot, and I wanted it and I don't have to answer to anyone. I've been living off the relationship grid for a looooong time now. Like on a Deserted/Freedom Island. Out at the Park tonight, I was noticing the couples, all that hand holding, feeling like "don't you have a hand? why do you need hers?"

I'm really ready to outgrow this standoffishness stance. Cuz I can create and define my own relationship grid. If I can do whatever I want, and I so can, then I could do that. (update: Well, a WE could, I guess on principle it ought be stated that way - if there were, ya know, someone willing to negotiate. No hand holding (Canadian gay) or jealous pissy tirades (dumb) though, that's out.)