Sat night, I had my first ‘house party’, ie a party for the house. I had it smudged out w sage and a tribal drum, had the energy read and the ghost (re)located (having displaced the poor bloke again w the endless undone projects that I do myself and/or fuck up in the void, etc.). To stand where the ghost stands to watch me, you have to come here, it’s too hard to describe. I showed it to MilknCookies, she shivered all over freaked out. I showed it to Officer FBI, and he shivered all over freaked out. I don’t find it very freaky. I get goose bumps like someone is breathing on the back of me, but it doesn’t feel bad. I like having a man around the house, one like that, an appreciable but aloof presence. I got lots of advice about my energy, which is becoming (if not already done becoming and IS) totally and utterly and irrevocably singular. Not necessarily solitary, since obviously there are lots of people around in my life now, so much going on that I can hardly keep up. But that’s part of it, I have filled every corner of my own existence, all my space and all my time. And I’m not sure I want to change that. I say I do, but I think maybe I’ve tricked myself, the way a mother tricks a child into being good for Santa Claus, telling my girly self to keep a heart happy for Prince Charming. Even my music allows for hardly anyone else, and I haven’t noticed because I blog it. Sometimes I really am suggesting you listen to a good song, but mostly if you did listen you’d probably hear a song too morose and complicated to play any other way but alone in your room or car. Usually when I blog a song, I am saying essentially, “I am having a conversation with this song today and that conversation has nothing to do with you“. FPH and I used to say, “I am having a conversation with this song and that conversation has something to do with you”. I'm not sure DmS would concur that we did the same but I did on my end. And as a result of thinking of music that way, of thinking of myself as “relating“ in that way, I would blog songs that made me think of other people too, I would be in a state of relating to some degree whenever music played . . . but I dropped much of that, and I didn’t even notice the crucial difference it makes, the affect on me. Among other things, for a whole night I struggled to play any music that would be communal at all, would set any kind of mood for more-than-one-alone. These little things - in my space, in my time, in my sound environment, and probably more ways that I‘m not aware of still - they are all forging me apart. I am casting an apart spell on myself. I want to break it. (Or do I?)
No song. I don’t have one that really speaks for me to anyone. (Or vice versa, eh?)
How skilled are you at getting things done and making things happen? This is different from just being busy; it's not the same as scrambling around attending to whatever tasks are at the forefront of your attention. I'm talking about actually cranking out excellent results that manifest a comprehensive vision of your intentions. I'm talking about working hard and smart to serve the big picture, not working frenetically and mechanically to rid yourself of nervous mental energy. You're in a phase when these themes are especially important, Virgo. Be a master of the details; don't let the details master you.
