my father disappears. I do it too, as into my getoffame forcefields. my mother seems to be listening to you, but nope actually she's a totem pole (I don't mean that as a metaphor). I understand best someone who has no prelude to good-bye. when my mom and I talk on the phone, we can sense it when we're starting to just fill the air, and instead of a wind-down one of us will say "ok that's it" or more often one of us will simply hang up, or say "I love you" then hang up. my father writes, after disappearing for over a month, "I gave myself to Jesus and now he never calls". nothing else.

meanwhile, mosquitoes hatched out. out here in the pretty countryside, nothing is ghetto except the bugs, but the bugs will FUCK YOU UP.

regina spektor - no surprises (radiohead)