I forgot. We r gonna inherit stuff. I mean, not keepsakes, whatever there is of that belongs to my mother. I mean just cash. And Sis already did allllll the hard stuff so much omg cz I was busy selling my house for mom, as we agreed.  She sold his house and now his car is mine says bro-in-law who will get it deep cleaned and tuned up and my sister is just like get it over get it over get it over get it over, she is not-okay. Figuring out what is left of the $ (after death and funeral? Are u sure??) to her is like part of OVER WITH. Here's your cash, and your Subaru for your gay dogs, DONE! She's soooo out of her mind to have this be over already - she should take more, but she will split it (CLEAN QUICK MATH) to save her nerves. "I tried 3 different ways to donate him but.." Stop, CREMATOR HIM, save yourself!! I keep having to tell her that over and over and over - save yourSELF. 

I am afraid for her hair. 

Tbh, I am not even trying to clean the emotional part of this up anymore, going on nothing but faith that it will heal. This much shakey ouch = def not sociopaths, we (all of us) are nothing but hurting humans. 

When your hair grows back, it's short and in my case curly, so under my long hair are haircoils like pen springs, making the rest of the long parts stick out 🤯. That is going to be lamentable and messy until it isn't. (Metaphor.)

But I can feel too that my mother will see a butterfly or make a dirty joke or both, and there it'll be: how amazing shit is. Life. Isn't it AMAZING, Gin? 

If there is $ left, I am telling nobody, letting nobody's need(s) make a claim on it. I am going to see northern lights at a spa where they put you in healing mud or whatever. 

No. All I do is bend over backwards, unspotted under the weights.