I got approved for a sabbatical today. I could abuptly disappear from June 1 - Jan 15.  It's kind of career suicide at this moment to lean out, after all I've built and accomplished in titles and raises, Big Work. But. I feel suffocated as fuck. By kids, work, and boyfriend. They all want more from me than I have, in every way.

I love my kids.
My job is enviable.
My boyfriend adores me.

Heavy.
Heavy.
Heavy.
That's how all three feel to me.

I want the kids to get jobs. I mean if they have to grow up, which bums me out frankly, then grow up. Don't just get big and too cool to hang out with me while also costing me a fortune.  I want my job to have about 100% less corporate culture  bulllllshiiiit in it, and I don't even have that much, but still, I have NO TOLERANCE. And I want to I dunno what about the wonderful boyfriend whose adoration is suffocating as fuck - if he tells me one more time that he wants to be a "good partner", I'm going to castrate him. BLECH. As completely illogical as it is, the dude who adores me and tries in every way to make my life easier is the most suffocating thing on the list. If he DID all the same things but just SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT, he'd be great, but he never shuts up.

Alll of it, my whole damn life, is on my fucking nerves.

Is this PMS? Hard to tell now. My uterus is microwaved / my hormone panel is the same, ie FUCKING CRABBY. And Nebraska says, 'You said that you might be experiencing PMS, can you tell me more?" That is annoying as HELL. (Right??)

I think I'll probably take that sabbatical. And disappear.