Today is a holiday. The kind you dress kids up in uncomfy shoes and make them play boring board games with cousins and let the crybaby retard kid win kinda holiday. But not for me. Since my love life looks like a manchild dropped a moab on it, UPSIDE to everything: no in-laws; and the mean retards are never on my side of the family.

So, a holiday is do whatever the hell I want with funny people day. I eat whatever I cook (and I am a good cook so no party wienies and carrot sticks), drink good wine and even better brandy, everybody wears fuzzy pant pjs all day, then we all either watch fabulously lude TV (VEEP premiere tonight yaaay) and/or play Cards Against Humanity.  My little clan is so foul mouthed witty that we had to graduate to homemade decks.

Then later, alone, I'll shop just a wee bit more, making my final sexy undergarment selection for the week ahead (I can always send it back if I don't use it, but methinks I shall).

In the spirit of good humor about it all, fye Melissa McArthy re the holocaust. As funny as that is (the Veggie Tales puppets omg that's awesome), the original is terrible-funnier like woooow - I shouldn't laugh but I sure did. And for the chocolate cake bit, in case you missed it.

Being an American now means you need a sense of humor like mine. I am no longer inappropriate at all actually. Which should appall normal people.