The boys and I watched Gone Girl. It looks like a murder mystery but it's really a study of a marriage. Of what marriage is and does to people. I said something like, If you're not already convinced it's a bad idea...I didn't even finish the thought before they were both like MARRIAGE IS FUCKED UP NO FUCKING WAY etc etc. Well, probably not fucked up for everybody (your grandparents have a good marriage for instance) but I've set you an extremely terrible example, so you'll probably struggle with it some. I'm sorry. "It isn't your fault. But yea, just the thought of marriage makes me feel sick, like here", says Ears, putting a hand to his guts where I often do too. If I were to come anywhere near anything looking like a romantic plotline in front of them again, they'd be coping with a sickening feeling of dread over it immediately. So hey universe, condition #1, until they're grown no romcom plotlines! I ain't nobody's better half, I've got to be whole. Then we switched over to the DNC some more, and TJ read us an article speculating about the role of the 'first dude' and how every time Bill has time in his hands he makes trouble so Hillary has to keep him busy, so TJ starts interjecting inuendo as he's reading about how Bill owes her head in the oval office so like 'get under this desk and get to gettin or I'm calling Cory Booker', and had me in stitches.
What are the biggest life lessons you learned?, I imagine their shrinks asking. That marriage is like playing Russian roulette while drunk on hope, that men wreak havoc on women and children, and that the most valuable life skill is extremely inappropriate humor at the ready at all times.
They'll be really pissed at me, I imagine, and rightly so.
