update: remember that big loud pop and then I couldn't sit down to pee? I finally went to a chiropractor for often excruciating pain in my ass and down the back of my leg - yup I popped something but that's not really the problem, one crunch and that part is set right again, the real problem is that my inner right ass cheek muscle (it has a name that starts w/ "p" but I forget it so let's call it Penelope) is in permanent spasm to the point that it's a knot entirely, squeezing my sciatic nerve just about literally to nerve death. it's so tight that all the muscles around it are being pulled in, like towards a black hole, which in turn caused the pop under stress. the dude had to put his entire weight into the effort to depress the muscle into stillness for a moment. he said 'you are literally the definition of a tight-ass'.
it's not gonna kill me but it hurts, waaaaah <:/ meanwhile, my kid went to campus today to try to get a job and my colleague in her discipline said "that is the most impressive human being of that age I've ever met" and he wasn't kissin my ass bc we're eye-to-eye, me and him, so I know. I had a little ray of pleasure shine on my very gray heart right then. I said "I keep telling her to mellow out before she goes tight-ass, but it's too late". yeah way too late, he laughed. "yeah." clearly there are upsides to this ass-knot personality, but man alive I hope she ends up as impressive as she is but also pinker of heart than me. maybe I can make mine pinker again by remembering that's my goal at this point, helping lay the foundation for pink in my little ones. tombstones don't read "Got a lot done", they read "Beloved". so the answer to DmS's question for the day from me is take the poem
ernest ranglin w spearhead, I got plenty o' nothing - high rec! these come from one of those AIDS benefits cds, all covers of gershwin tunes that Bale sent my way (sigh), buy it here
bonus track - bobby womack w the roots, summertime
