Sunday, March 25, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Today is Meat Out Day. And also Steak and Blowjob Day. Following on the heels of St. Let’s All Get Hammered Day, it’s like Once Upon a Time either Happily Ever After or GOD NO.
I actually had steak for the first time in an eon (I feel like I ate one of Elmer’s pets whole), a date at the dress-coded Buffalo Club with The Nun and the union. Union guys – it’s a quandary. I mean, you have to be on their team, but every time they gather, there is at least one of them wearing a gout sandal, bet your life on it, probably the president of your local chapter.
Meanwhile, it is 15 degrees here this evening. I tried. I always try, but let’s face it I start out half a bubble off plumb to begin with, so going stark raving nuts is so right there.
I actually had steak for the first time in an eon (I feel like I ate one of Elmer’s pets whole), a date at the dress-coded Buffalo Club with The Nun and the union. Union guys – it’s a quandary. I mean, you have to be on their team, but every time they gather, there is at least one of them wearing a gout sandal, bet your life on it, probably the president of your local chapter.
Meanwhile, it is 15 degrees here this evening. I tried. I always try, but let’s face it I start out half a bubble off plumb to begin with, so going stark raving nuts is so right there.
.
Clawing the inside of the buried box, nearing frantic.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
TJ-isms:
If you burped any louder you could reach jet propulsion and accidentally blow your head off.
You got a problem with that?
Nope!
What’s that smell?, curly ick face, taking a piss.
Shampoo? I’m washing my hair, clearly.
It doesn’t smell very good, it smells girly.
Well your buttcrack doesn’t smell very good.
Smells good to me!
I thought we’d go to the Botanical Gardens.
Nooooooooooooo.
O cmon, all this snow is depressing the shit outa me.
You swore.
And?
I hate the Garden Thing, it’s just a bunch of plants lying around.
That’s the point, plants flowers LIFE and all that.
What’s the big deal about being alive?
It’s hard if you think about it—all this snow is covering up plants that want to live again, that takes Will Power.
O anything can be alive, even Grandma Jody!
(if you're not dead)
Friday, March 16, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
self help reading + music
From An American Childhood, Annie Dillard:
Children 10 [3] years old wake up and find themselves here, discover themselves to have been here all along; is this sad? They wake like sleepwalkers, in full stride; they wake like people brought back from cardiac arrest or from drowning; in medias res, surrounded by familiar people and objects, equipped with a hundred skills.
I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again. I noticed this process of waking, and predicted with terrifying logic that one of these years not far away I would be awake continuously and never slip back, and never be free of myself again.
Time streamed in full flood beside me on the kitchen floor; time roared raging beside me down its swollen banks; and when I woke I was so startled I fell in.
“Lie on your back,” my mother said. She was kind, imaginative. She had joined me in one of the side yards. “Look at the clouds and figure out what they look like. A hat? I see a camel.”
Must I? Could this be anybody’s idea of something worth doing?
The interior life is often stupid. It’s egotism blinds it and deafens it; its imagination spins out ignorant takes, fascinated. It fancies that the western wind blows on the Self, and leaves fall at the feet of the Self for a reason, and people are watching. A mind risks real ignorance for the sometimes paltry prize of an imagination enriched. The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world—if only from time to time.
The world did not have me in mind; it had no mind. It was a coincidental collection of things and people, of items, and I myself was one such item—a child walking up the sidewalk, whom anyone could see or ignore. The things in the world did not necessarily cause my overwhelming feelings; the feelings were inside me, beneath my skin, behind my ribs, within my skull. They were even, to some extent, under my control.
Willy Mason - When The River Moves On
Children 10 [3] years old wake up and find themselves here, discover themselves to have been here all along; is this sad? They wake like sleepwalkers, in full stride; they wake like people brought back from cardiac arrest or from drowning; in medias res, surrounded by familiar people and objects, equipped with a hundred skills.
I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again. I noticed this process of waking, and predicted with terrifying logic that one of these years not far away I would be awake continuously and never slip back, and never be free of myself again.
Time streamed in full flood beside me on the kitchen floor; time roared raging beside me down its swollen banks; and when I woke I was so startled I fell in.
“Lie on your back,” my mother said. She was kind, imaginative. She had joined me in one of the side yards. “Look at the clouds and figure out what they look like. A hat? I see a camel.”
Must I? Could this be anybody’s idea of something worth doing?
The interior life is often stupid. It’s egotism blinds it and deafens it; its imagination spins out ignorant takes, fascinated. It fancies that the western wind blows on the Self, and leaves fall at the feet of the Self for a reason, and people are watching. A mind risks real ignorance for the sometimes paltry prize of an imagination enriched. The trick of reason is to get the imagination to seize the actual world—if only from time to time.
The world did not have me in mind; it had no mind. It was a coincidental collection of things and people, of items, and I myself was one such item—a child walking up the sidewalk, whom anyone could see or ignore. The things in the world did not necessarily cause my overwhelming feelings; the feelings were inside me, beneath my skin, behind my ribs, within my skull. They were even, to some extent, under my control.
Willy Mason - When The River Moves On
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
"diddly squat”
Soak up the Sun ( laa la la laa)
bonus Psapp - Hi
p.s. Ann Coulter looks like what I imagine the horses looked like in Lodz just before they had to eat them
Monday, March 12, 2007
doggedly, Husky Rescue - Summertime Cowboy (Mocky Remix)
bonus -Robyn- Crash and Burn Girl
Bow Wow Wow - I Want Candy (Marie Antoinette remix)
Saturday, March 10, 2007
It got warm yesterday, sort of. Then it bit me. Cold again, just like that, like a spanking. [grrrrrrstuuuubbbooorn] I’m repainting some more. I am baking things and packing junk in my trunk for the beach. TJ will slowly release sand across my shins where it sticks to the lake water rivulets. I will dig a moat, liking the symbolism, tiny armed men strategically placed. I will turn brown easily I will scratch a back I will eat a hot dog I will go swimming through hair I will fall in love with something new or more with something already probably both if at all at all possible cuz that’s how I like things and stick my nose in the purple smell of what I planted last year no more promising than a bulb, almost as certainly as I will grow old and die except sooner and more happily. So there.
When I was 3 years old and got a tonsillectomy and thus started remembering things (AHH!) and I thought “I like running” as one of my very first thoughts, and I still think that. In the back of my mind has for a long time been also, a childhood song from the same era of those very first thoughts, like Puff the Magic Dragon only not that, or something something, . . . and it’s about a kid and his dog. Even when I found Harry Nilsson’s “Are You Sleeping?” last year (and blogged it), it didn’t jog anything at all, but I’ve always remembered me and my arrow la la la, though I could never remember anything else about it; so since it seems every damn thing is on YouTube, I plugged that line in and up it popped: The Point, narrated by Ringo Star. What floors me is that, although I literally couldn’t reach to wipe my own ass yet, the point of The Point wrote itself on the wall of my brain so indelibly that I swear to god I have all these years felt and said some of these things over and over and over.
“guilty of living in our midst without a point” (with a dog) = good (and banished)
totally
When I was 3 years old and got a tonsillectomy and thus started remembering things (AHH!) and I thought “I like running” as one of my very first thoughts, and I still think that. In the back of my mind has for a long time been also, a childhood song from the same era of those very first thoughts, like Puff the Magic Dragon only not that, or something something, . . . and it’s about a kid and his dog. Even when I found Harry Nilsson’s “Are You Sleeping?” last year (and blogged it), it didn’t jog anything at all, but I’ve always remembered me and my arrow la la la, though I could never remember anything else about it; so since it seems every damn thing is on YouTube, I plugged that line in and up it popped: The Point, narrated by Ringo Star. What floors me is that, although I literally couldn’t reach to wipe my own ass yet, the point of The Point wrote itself on the wall of my brain so indelibly that I swear to god I have all these years felt and said some of these things over and over and over.
“guilty of living in our midst without a point” (with a dog) = good (and banished)
totally
Eddie Floyd + Mavis Staples: Piece of My Heart [Mavis always sounds like she’s calling on the Lord] {The Staple Singers} (Anybody got the Dusty Springfield version? Can’t find it.)
And a version of the real thing. MP3. (Anybody got a muscle car?)
Friday, March 09, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Louis Jordan - Knock Me a Kiss (highly recommended)
Anthropologists have not reached a consensus as to whether kissing is a learned or an instinctive behavior. It may be related to grooming behavior also seen between other animals, or arising as a result of mothers premasticating food for their children. [yummy] Women are subconsciously more attracted to men whose major histocompatibility complex portion of their genome is different than her own
Kissing is a complex behaviour that requires significant muscular coordination; in fact, a total of twenty muscles working cooperatively. [I hope I don’t remember that, it might throw me off.] The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle
Notable kisses: At the Diocleia festival at Megara in honour of Diocles, lover of Philolaus, a kissing contest was held in which boys would kiss a male judge, who awarded a laurel wreath to the boy he deemed the best kisser. . . . In Lady and the Tramp, as Lady and Tramp simultaneously eat a spaghetti noodle from opposite ends, their lips meet in the middle. [She lets go, bashful. He rolls the last meatball to her with his nose.]
(bonus - Andain – Ave Maria)
Anthropologists have not reached a consensus as to whether kissing is a learned or an instinctive behavior. It may be related to grooming behavior also seen between other animals, or arising as a result of mothers premasticating food for their children. [yummy] Women are subconsciously more attracted to men whose major histocompatibility complex portion of their genome is different than her own
Kissing is a complex behaviour that requires significant muscular coordination; in fact, a total of twenty muscles working cooperatively. [I hope I don’t remember that, it might throw me off.] The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle
Notable kisses: At the Diocleia festival at Megara in honour of Diocles, lover of Philolaus, a kissing contest was held in which boys would kiss a male judge, who awarded a laurel wreath to the boy he deemed the best kisser. . . . In Lady and the Tramp, as Lady and Tramp simultaneously eat a spaghetti noodle from opposite ends, their lips meet in the middle. [She lets go, bashful. He rolls the last meatball to her with his nose.]
(bonus - Andain – Ave Maria)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Gotye - heartsamess [repost, but this is the video]
“A Distinctive Sound” – Gotye (high recommend. I like this a lot—what the hell is it?)
Virgo this week: In May 2005, while floating in a heated, heart-shaped swimming pool in Milan, Italy, Andrea Pedrani and Federica Di Venosa kissed underwater for 87 seconds. That's got to be a world record, right? If their mark is ever broken, I bet it will involve at least one Virgo and will happen in the next few weeks. By my reckoning, your tribe is in a phase when you're capable of peak performances in both the erotic arts and oceanic emotions; you're primed for transcendent acts of sensual pleasure and rich amusements in warm, watery depths.
[okay (pause) . . . (headtilt) . . ]
The baby is a water sign, Pisces, which flows into earth signs (i.e. Virgos), saturates and cannot easily extricate itself. Maybe that’s what he meant. (:/)
harvey mandel – wade in the water (great flowerfunk instrumental)
“A Distinctive Sound” – Gotye (high recommend. I like this a lot—what the hell is it?)
Virgo this week: In May 2005, while floating in a heated, heart-shaped swimming pool in Milan, Italy, Andrea Pedrani and Federica Di Venosa kissed underwater for 87 seconds. That's got to be a world record, right? If their mark is ever broken, I bet it will involve at least one Virgo and will happen in the next few weeks. By my reckoning, your tribe is in a phase when you're capable of peak performances in both the erotic arts and oceanic emotions; you're primed for transcendent acts of sensual pleasure and rich amusements in warm, watery depths.
[okay (pause) . . . (headtilt) . . ]
The baby is a water sign, Pisces, which flows into earth signs (i.e. Virgos), saturates and cannot easily extricate itself. Maybe that’s what he meant. (:/)
harvey mandel – wade in the water (great flowerfunk instrumental)
for the hell of it: Ave Maria (Mozart) [I wanted to like the Callas version better in honor of the heart-shaped pool, but I just didn't.]
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