I have had very few long-term lovers. I genuinely love(d) them. I do not know what they felt/thought in return. One, I took on his student loans after pushing him into school - he died very young, so I hardly can hold a grudge,Two others, I thought they deserved what they aspired to be, so I cut them the slack they needed - I am not sure now, so God will judge, but this I know: you did not pay it back to me, so you are still owing someone. One fathered my sons then left the country, a luxury that Canada affords asshats.

At no time did anyone ask me, What are your professional aspiraions? Ever.

If I ever have a lover again (apparently doubtful), here is the thing: my clitoris goes off like an AR15 if you talk to it right and SO DOES MY MIND.  Ask me what I want to achieve.