"You know what it's like to get your mind blown. And I'm sure that on more than one occasion you have had your heart stolen. But I am curious, Virgo, about whether you have ever had your mind stolen or your heart blown. And I also wonder if two rare events like that have ever happened around the same time. I'm predicting a comparable milestone sometime in the next three weeks. Have no fear! The changes these epiphanies set in motion will ultimately bring you blessings. Odd and unexpected blessings, probably, but blessings nonetheless. P.S.: I'm sure you are familiar with the tingling sensation that wells up in your elbow when you hit your funny bone. Well, imagine a phenomena like that rippling through your soul."

 (armscrossy)

As the kids predicted, I'm back to witchy all over the place. Amy gets my chart out and reads it like Magellan. She says stuff like Venus is moving through your house of good whatever, so actually YOUR chart looks great (she notes this confusedly, as if the directions said to add an egg but still the dough won't rise yet...) Then she smudged the shit out if the house with four elements, and I must say, as soon as she did that I felt a billion times better. Or stronger. Or more fuckoffy. I can't tell what to call things for sure, back to assuming mostly I have no idea what is the what. I wonder what lying makes me sick planet moved up my ass and pitched a pissed tent between the car wreck and next episode of Dexter? And if anyone so much as pauses to look too long at the garden, I'm reaching for the pepper spray. Then I remember Angry Lamb accidentally pepperspraying herself and how damn funny it was. I'm standing at my front window, laugh-remembering while simultaneously internally snarling at the paused flower gawker "move the fuck along buddy"...

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Me (watching Dexter have sex with his single mom gf): Close your eyes
TJ: no way...she's bony....
Me: which means those tits aren't real
TJ: I don't care, I don't have a latex allergy