Me: What’s the most common term for a vagina, like in your everyday usage?
Him: what do you mean ‘everyday usage’?
Me: ok let me rephrase the question, what’s the worst term, like the pornographic one you might think in your head when you’re having sex typa deal? Is that ‘cunt’?
Him: probably, or ‘pussy’, I try to avoid ‘cunt’ cz it might be offensive
Me: you try to avoid being offensive in your head?
Him: well ok no not in my head, I’m just saying, ‘cunt’ might be a bit much don’t you think?
Me: I don’t really have a problem with it, personally
Him: noted
Me: so like what’s the pedestrian term, when you’re just referring to a vagina but not in a particularly fuck-me kinda way?
Him:
Him: ummmm, ‘vagina’?
Me: really? That seems so clinical
Him: Ok maybe ‘box’
Me: (giggle)
Him: shut up, you’re the one asking
Me: ok ok, so what’s the worst term? Like, that you know of?
Him: worst like how?
Me: like worst, like I dunno ‘bearded clam’ or something
Him: (giggle)
Me: Seriously, what’s the worst thing you can think of?
Him: ‘meat curtains’
Me:
Me: (gigggggle) that’s awful
Him: it is. Ok so what’s the worst one for a penis?
Me: well there’s ‘schlong’ but that’s pretty meh
Him: yeah you can do better, c’mon
Me: um…..’heat seeking moisture missile’
Him: lol, that’s awesome, where’d you hear that one?
Me:
vid/music from DmS (I think the chic is kinda hair-too-did but the dress is good)
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know - SNL 4-14-12 by IdolxMuzic
memory pops in the weirdest of ways, have you ever noticed that? I can't remember almost anything I try to, and then again strange things just wash ashore like that eyeball, and I dream, like last night I dreamt I got caught snowed in at a hotel with John trying to get to Chicago and somehow Aa had arranged the whole thing like time traveling matchmaker slash temptor like the devil gives out tests ya know? and I knew it was a dream in a minute when J said he was really into having a relationship now that he was all good and open and well and love-ready and I snortled like o really? and woke up coughing actually then coughed my brains loose as his smell faded, which was the only thing that bothered me, that it was actually in the room when I woke up that smell - then I lost an hour's sleep worring it was a sign of something, and decided it was a sign that my Ex is going to get himself snowed in with my boys in the Redwoods on a camping trip this coming week and they're all gonna die :/ in real life, I'm going to Target after work to buy the boyz more winter gear and underwear, paranoid now that a snow squall of memory or ice could kill a person if they don't have long underwear enough or something like that.....
"Thinly Veiled Disguise," Ron Sexsmith