"Resolutions"

If Nebraska doesn't mail me the mace guns, I will demote him in my mind

If I don't have mace, I'll go to the wilderness anyway

I will go to the wilds no matter what, and accept that anger at having to feel like a woman (vulnerable) is part of the deal

I will fire all male handymen and not hire more 

(Except the old codger with the security doors in the first ward)

When the shotgun arrives, I will ask the gunstore dude what to replace the Kimbers with, provided Nebraska did not mail me my mace guns, which I have a testy bitchy feeling he will not

I will never again forget how draining it is to feel fearful chronically 

I will remember that I never forgot it, I repressed it

I will try to know the difference between acceptance and repression (tricky!)

I will get another tattoo

I will try not to wish everyone dead who is setting off fireworks right now, tho for the record, this 'illusion of freedom' holiday is annoying af, and I hope some EMT gets a good ER story out of one of these fucking idiots shoving a firecracker up his ass on a dare 🙏

I am not going to resolve to drink less or exercise more, done that am doing that am eating 5 vegetable servings a day yadayada, for all the good it does me

I am not going to resolve to not want to punch my man in the face bc I'd fail immediately (in my defense, he got me an online course on birding to 'cheer me up')

(I lost the thread of I WILLS, devolving into WILL NOTs 🤔)

I WILL try to give more credit to TRYING, in general, cz God knows the deck is stacked against succeeding 

(the most terrifying thing about all this was 1 Ears missed coming home while they were still here by mere minutes, I can tell by the dog collars that are fitbits 2 they could have taken the dogs, little friendly fuckers)

I will get another dog, a BIG one, a Stelladoodle 

s.m.i.b

shopping for a big dog to guard my Littles