I told the Piano Man off, which I'm feeling bad about, knotted up, cz they've all been sooo great to me, to us. But I figured it was better to be cruel to be kind. There's nothing wrong with the woman he has, so he shouldn't be barking up my tree with how I'm torteously wonderful (= mere fantasy). Although I feel kinda lousy, I don't want him repeatedly kickstarting my bitchyfrigid reflex, and for no good reason besides god damn it. . . . Meanwhile, while we were clearing the air outside the bar, Sunnie was inside getting in poor LMG's face over it, over me, that he should ask me out (bla bla). He told her that he "prides himself" on the fact that he's never hit on me. (Like the way FPH has never smoked a joint, only different.) "That would ruin everything."

I feel a little prideful that he's singled me out for special (non)treatment. He doesn't know, since he doesn't remember, what I know about him and me: we've already gone there without incident because when his Closed sign faltered the once, mine came on like a back up generator. We've been sharing the same point of pride. I can't tell if that's very smart of us or literally retarded. It'll be both/either, depending on if the card comes up reversed:

Represented by Virgo, the Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and virginity. The card indicates a need for peace and solitude to think, organize, ruminate, and take stock. The Hermit is the restless mind of the Virgo, always gathering information, analyzing, making connections. Virgos are skeptics, and if anyone is going to stick a lantern into a dark place and take a good look at what's going on, it is a Virgo.

The Hermit is a card of connections and enlightenment. Combined with a desire to just "be left alone," the Querent who gets this card is probably feeling impatient with people, grumpy and anti-social in typical Virgo fashion. Like an artist who hides for days then emerges to paint a masterpiece.

If reversed, the Querent is living in fear of connections with others, of being known, of interpersonal feelings both good and bad. The need for solitude can become an addiction, an endless excuse to withdraw as if to "work", when in fact literally nothing is being accomplished. Do not cling to nothing as if it is something valuable in itself.

jj cale - clyde