Thursday, June 03, 2010

We are all guilty as hell. Among other things, this is a perfect example of how worse-than-useless anger is, since it would be not only very satisfying but also completely bullshit to be pissed at anyone but ourselves for all the crimes against the planet and each other that our own addiction to oil has perpetrated and/or allowed in all categories, all our policies, for years and years. Last night the spirituality class spent its time praying for the ocean. We had bottles of ocean water that Sunnie brought back from a vacation on the gulf a couple months ago, she'd given me a bottle for a gift of 'water magic'. It stunk like seagull shit. It smelled alive at least. We arranged ourselves in a circle around a bowl of it, breathed in a smell that no longer exists and probably never will again, and said our Hail Mary's so to speak. We are each one of us individually guilty of that spill. And I'm getting really scared that we're all going to feel the price of it right down to our guilty individual persons, not at some remove but literally raining down on us and coming out of all our taps. Am I overly dire-minded, or does it feel immediate and irrevocable to you like that too? Like hitting a pedestrian with your car might feel, and in an instant of your own careless making your whole world is shot to shit, the weight of it sinking into your consciousness in slo mo (700,000 gallons a day). Hopefully this is just a Virgo's perspective and not reality.