Older sister stopped in for what what supposed to be lunch but she stayed and cried most of the afternoon. She's looping. She can never get anywhere with better housing and transportation, mainly, and she's losing her mind about it. That has been going on since forever. She is always losing her mind about it and it's always workworkwork til you drop and you still have nothing to show etcetcetc. She is often exhausting to be around for this reason - I'm the mother so she barfs 🤮 all over me on the reg. Not since all this shit with Ears though, so this was kind of a catch-up 🤮. Ears was downstairs, listening to it all. After a couple hours, I gently suggest that if you wake up hating your life every day for too long, you'll kill yourself. And if you're going to kill yourself, then you might as well do anything, jump out of an airplane, whatever. Checking in to ecmc is jumping out of an airplane. 

We're all going to die. We all know that. If we walk around thinking about that all day, we can't live. Humans must comparmentalize their mortality. A depressed mind cannot do that. It's awareness of its own dying becomes unbearable. It's not the hope that kills you, it's knowing that it's the hope that kills you that kills you. 

After she leaves,

me: she's poor in America

him: yup

me: there's no cure for that

him: nope. she has to reframe it

🤔 he's never said anything like that before. reframe it. yes, he's right, she does. life is not unbearable right now. it was unbearable last month. "the goal is to stay out of the hospital", the post grippysock mental hygeine mantra - every day - Ears and I have clarity on that point.

and we should babysit more. 

card of the day (anybody die?)