I was gonna unblog all this, but again I am choosing to leave the trail of thought-crumbs. I ran to my own cottage today to get my hiking hat, bare summer minimums that I've not needed once yet, too busy climbing out of the grave to do anything else all season. The septic there is overflowing, another mess/expense to deal with 🙄.

good thing I was crazy enough to move one of my trees to the cottage, and that I braved their mess to take a piss and flush the toilet 🤦🏻‍♀️

I am running around buying compost and cantaloupe seemingly (life), but I am trying to unbreak in reality (Live). "We should fix each other." Yes, please. 

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The appraisal came back on my new house. Upshot: my sister is right. Everyone ELSE is invested in everything going smoothly now. Sellers, agents, brokers. Nobody gets anything they want/need if it does not go smoothly. So unless called upon to do A Thing, I am going to let them all handle it all for a spell (let that spell work itself now). 

Attention turning to next steppings. I need to pause ordering skirts that look good with boots, summoning drool days, because I will need to move anything I buy but moreover I just put in a mail hold (no deliveries) Sun-Sun. 

Considering I haven't been able to pry any time at all out of his web of obligations (my mom could better than I lol). Considering that Ears doesn't know what PTO his job gives him if any (that kid is SO like me, jeezus). I have no idea how to "plan" for Tawista; it's not really up to me anymore. I did my bit. I suggested a do-over on that time we were not there together tho he wanted to be. That broken looks easy to mend in retrospect; Tawista heals, always has. "Yes!", he said. And if I could get that, even though they no longer rent it, would Ears want a day or two.. "YES!" So, I summoned Tawista back into our lives.

Now here it is, another "when" that I get to say, starting Sunday.

If he can. If he can. Two men, two wild cards.

So I am gearing up for what I think will be like a portal I've opened. It'll remain open for 7 days. I will be on the other side, maybe alone the whole time (?) Or maybe fucking and playing games after dinner. Or maybe some combo of those things on some subset(s) of days. I am thinking of what to take with me, like a tiny version of the radical downsizing choices ahead. I shouldn't bring too much, of food or loungerie, the kinda things that I would need them there for to need it. But not none either, because at any moment, either or both COULD walk through the portal. And I am a person too.

Are either men likely to tell me when or if or for how long they shall be?, she wonders. I know what "say when" means. They both know me, so that I would figure out how to say it should be no surprise. But. This little Virgo is all about reality, how it really is/feels (mouthfeel!). Especially in the case of Huckleberry, fantasy doesn't exist unless he brings it into my equation (yes, please) and he's maybe still (re)learning that I can only mean what I say. But Ears knows that when he steps through that portal for even just day, there will be waiting... 

Johnny's meatballs

Flavor of the year ice cream from Stewart's

Beaver Bite beer, also from Stewart's 

Me swimming through witchmate waters in my underwear (if anything)

🤔 so that's all I will gather, plus books/writing/weed for my own little self. I could bring other things, such as enchanted cock rings or ingredients for dip, if requested (?)

every chance I get I want you in the flesh - dan aurbach