(setting: I'm painting a wall)

me: watch it! seriously, don't get paint all over hell
tj: you need stuff to worry about
me: o don't start, there's paint, duh, don't f'n step in it
tj: no I've thought about this
me: here we go
tj: you need to worry about stuff and care for stuff or you go crazy or something
me:
tj: in fact, since you care for me, I have never seen you crazy. I guess.
me: ha
ears: ha
ears: yeah it's true, you always want to be taking care of stuff. what are you gonna do when we grow up? go crazy all the time?
me: I was planning on killing myself. but . .
ears: jesus!
tj: mom!
me: well I know, I'm happier now so I need a new back up plan. but I keep putting it off. hoping you'll just grow up slowly.
ears: that's not working is it?
me: well. it's probably why I spoil the shit out of you; I'm unconsciously slightly crippling you in an attempt to prolong your childhood
tj:
ears:
ears: that's fucked up!
me: don't say fuck
ears: lol
tj: lol
me: lol
tj: I love your laugh mom, you snort when you laugh.