Then the other dog caught the worms part of almost dying holy god ... I desperately need sleep ...

I pull up that tv show that always bored me into a coma, the 1st 48 😴

Dumbfounded

most meme able baby ever - give it a go

 

Disco Ball almost died and cost his Mama several thousand $$, ROI????...

Holy shit they found that asshole guilty (JUST CZ HE WAS)...

THAT ASSHOLE BETTER BE FOUND GUILTY, jeezuschwist!...

Yaya, you won a fucking EN E H grant?,shiiiiiiiit guuurrrlll...

 

https://youtu.be/J46sRuj99Cw 

Nebraska sent superfancy ear buds as a congrats gift. My ears (skull bones) are rrriinnggiinngg

I'm going to be in the news today winning a big thing, overshadowed by layers of miserable condition(s).. 

2021

scrapbooking

"waiting for Jackie"

ducks fall out of the sky and land at my feet because it's 2021 ft shit is weird 

too little too late

"why won't he play with me?"

"gofundme car"

he knows one thing: that he is adored

Louise got as fat as I did, it looks great on her, she's fanning those fins like her ass is pure gold

pandemic pudge

 1 oh I remember the best part of the workday is taking the damn bra off 2 I wore my dress unzipped by half all day cz everything is too small 

I gotta put on underwear again to go to work in person ...superweird yikes ...Trying to imagine a bright side...I want oysters again (?)

 remembrance

hope is a discipline

could be worse

second shot, holy sweaty headache got worse all day, but worth it if it works. I have a feeling it won't, though. These conjoined industries - healthcare, education, law enforcement - they were looong overdue for commupence. How many waves of plague did it take to spank Egypt enough? 7? We are on 3? And it hasn't taken the children. Yet. I pray I'm wrong and that God will spare the dogs too.

 think spring 

 first haircut

I have been watching the trial live for hours. I wouldn't normally have time to watch it for myself vs read about it afterwards. It's a very different experience. I watched him die over and over and over and over from every cam angle. Begging for his life right from the start, at hello as soon as a cop pulled up. Begging for his mother before the knee to the neck even started. In fact, I believe that the begging was an erotic sado trigger for the cop. It was deeply disturbing.

I figured the cop was/is going to get off (legally also, I mean). They always do. But I wanted to see HOW, at trial, what does the jury see/hear that justifies such a thing (?) I can't imagine how you'd get to acquittal from here (???) I'm very curious, tbh, how the hell

Angela Davis eyes

I haven't held her since shot 1, since I started coughing feverish rattleboned overnight every night. Her eyes, that look, where the fuck are you why are you letting me down why does this world suck so bad what the actual hell ?!? - it is like all my babies' rightly critique has distilled into her shot glass of a personhood. 

If I die, look after her. She is not just The Judge of only me, she's ... something else. SMIB

Louise

 

 

Ambivalent

Shot 1. 

And de Blasio can suck it, for the record. WNY is where the shots are needed cz when we get em we USE THEM. Vaccination sites here are like Aldi on pay day.

Bonus track - I can hardly imagine 

Get Free - The Vaccines

Wicked Games - Para for Cuva Something

In hell I will be in good company - The Dead South

Bad Guy - Interrupters

Unwind Yourself - Martna Whitney

Dj Shadow - Rocket Fuel no need to take a breather

Mad About You - Hooverphonic

SHINGALING - tom swoon

Morcheeba -Blood like Lemonade

Devil in me 22 20

I could kill you with a thought

Hi, I'd really appreciate it if you would share or donate to this GoFundMe, https://gofund.me/fc73d5c3

Nova. She is a once in a billion gene winner (loser). And poor.

And brown. In America. 

And gorgeous glorious smart sparkly. Powerful. She is.

The rule is 3-fold. You get back 3x what you put out. Consider her an investment.

smib

 

 

The gene variant is a one-off, a completely unique instance of cystic fibrosis that could not have been screened for and that means she lives without a pancreas as long as we can keep her alive. It wasn't genome mapped yet until she existed. Which wouldn't have happened if her mother did not exist. Which was an insane choice on my part when I was still a child. To have a child fathered by a man who died of failure of pancreas when he was still so young. 

My life will be over soon already before I can fathom its impact. I'm only now even connecting any dots of it.

This is anathema to a virgo. We want reliable cause and effect. Plant nasturtium seeds and that is what grows. Work hard. I like(d) to work. It yielded. This...this "just endure suffering" thing ... it's hard work, but 

I just don't get it, how to *accomplish* it, I'm confused and exhausted and don't know HOW to be good at living this life anymore. 

 

feeling

 

not in 2021

 

 

caption (snort)

 

https://youtu.be/J46sRuj99Cw 

 https://youtu.be/ju93DUqV1i0

 song of the year (1)

What's yours?

Ima Commodity

 

Monday