VIRGO You've taken the time explore, understand and accept yourself, so now you get to have a lot of fun with the result. You'll enjoy your own company, as well you should. You're a delight.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

VIRGO As for the person who finds it hard to give a compliment, you might find this fact rather suspicious. Rightly so. It shouldn't be so difficult to prop up those around you, unless you are harboring emotional disabilities.

Imagine Dragons - Polaroid

"Our life is frittered away by detail" Thoreau

One son hopped a bus to DC, while the other son says it's too late (he wants to fill the gun safe in fear of his country), so he and I went to see Viet Nguyen instead. We all listen to revolutions podcast in the car together (Haiti atm). We all agree to vote left with the rally peeps, but to also keep the gun safe when we move.

Duh. 
Except be careful that it isn't a 'with best friends like you, who needs enemies?' situation. Pick your friends carefully = The essential rule of thumb in all things including in bed.

Bonus track: snort

the artist formerly known as tulipweek

FocusOnTheFamily.com: Your teenage daughter is a sexually-active Juggalo.

Lol that one is great too, hahaha. 

SNORT (npr)

Infinite Jest, that's what I am calling my secret sextape.

I personally know only, maybe, a dozen people who'd get that joke. And I am not sleeping with any of those people.

VIRGO Lately, you've been dealing with a few layers of negativity. Rest assured the condition isn't chronic. You're doing something every day — maybe even every hour — to heal yourself, and it's working.

I hope so. I can't say I don't feel powerful, I definitely do, but there isn't much sugar in it. I am all salt now. There is never a reason to be sweet anymore.

save yourself, kaleo

John Newman - Love Me Again

In a World of Unicorns. "The ancient Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question after someone died: 'Did he have passion?'"

Shortlisted for the 2018 Sony World Photography Award.

fabot

"...the caress of the lace on her skin sharpened the dull pencil of her perceptions, allowing her to write in her mind with ever-increasing precision the outline of the characters in her life." ~The Refugees, Viet Thanh Nyugen

 coleman hell - cold feet

VIRGO One definition of love is: the opposite of fear. Even so, smart people don't hug sharks, and some people are better loved from a distance. People will catch what you're sending out, even from miles and miles away.

the hip - 100th meridian (I remember Buffalo lalala)

 (psst you're an idiot)

In April 1972, three American astronauts climbed into a spacecraft and took a trip to the moon and back. On the second day of the 11-day jaunt, pilot Ken Mattingly removed and misplaced his wedding ring. In the zero-gravity conditions, it drifted off and disappeared somewhere in the cabin. Nine days later, on the way home, Mattingly and Charlie Duke did a space walk. When they opened the hatch and slipped outside, they found the wedding ring floating in the blackness of space. Duke was able to grab it and bring it in. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will recover a lost or missing item in an equally unlikely location, Virgo. Or perhaps your retrieval will be of a more metaphorical kind: a dream, a friendship, an opportunity.

A brief reprieve.  Open houses start again in a couple hours. I have a headache like an anvil. Sleep deprivation and fast food diet and hours of driving every day.

The new house is 2 blocks inside the city of Buffalo on the north end apx 30 min closer and 15 minutes from work. As I sit here feeling like I can't possibly manage this move without my physical and mental health buckling, I am promising myself goodies to get me through it: for the first 6 months, I am going to park the jeep in the garage and uber to work, no driving no circling for parking, curb to curb service for my exhausted ass.

I have not been this tired since the last time I gave birth. I just prayed to Jesus for help and I don't believe in Jesus.

X_x

VIRGO You're going to do the brave thing — not because you have less to lose (if you had nothing to lose, it wouldn't be brave) but because you realize more than the others do that your action is what's sorely needed.

Faculty council president this week. Every time, (EVERY TIME) I think about this.

 kings of leon - use somebody

 I am just lying here naked in the morning sun alone.

My baby. Up for adoption (wa!)

My agent thinks it so sells itself that it barerly needs any effort. Forgot the pond pics, got the year wrong, etc. Like it is chum in the water. If he is right (it IS his business) finefine. If not, I will have to rent it then fix the other one somehow then flip back here. Or take a bath on 5k deposit on the other one (can't, got mouths to feed).

Risks like these are kickass hard to navigate.

I taught Bikram today for the first time in years. First time ever on campus. How to kick your own ass to hold steady. Trust me, you will need that skill like hell.

Still totally freaking out. I can hardly believe I am doing this. I worked so hard on this house and it is so ME in all the choices I made fixing it up. Leaving it feels like being shot out of my own womb.

But. I am praying it all it works out and someone else will fall in love with MEhouse and be happy here. There is no reason left for me to be here. I have to move to move on. And I am homesick for my city too. My lentils, my csa, my theater, my yoga studio, my oldJewishpeople gym. My Elmwood strip nutjobs. If I have a hometown, Buffalo is it. In this place, where everyone has some wall decal about love and laughter, I have been given nothing but bullshit and tears. I want to go home. Where 'kiss my ass' is the city motto. Where everyone is foulmouthed and in a hurry and more kind than polite. West Seneca and North Tonowanda can both go straight to hell. Sheeple.

Divesting and cleaning. The brewery and patio set given away. Toys purged. Clothes consigned. It is picture perfect. As if I was hardly here except invisibly. Which feels about right. Like, that is my typical trace on things I have loved. My effort is just absorbed, so eventually I self-erase.

One of the hardest parts of selling a house is that you've made it awesome in order to do that. You've poured months into it, fixing and finishing.You're breaking things off just when things are in perfect harmony. It is harder than you think to do that emotionally.

But it has to be done. So you do it. Another lesson in how things go in life, generally, and that you always do what ya gotta do.

I have known my agent since my first home in Buffalo. 18 years! I love him. It is inherently valuable to know people for a very long time. To me, that has inherent value. His jeep is in the shop, the loner is a giant ford excursion. He gets here with the contract, jumps out if it and says, "I feel like the best dressed lesbian I know in this thing." He does that, makes me laugh when he knows this stuff kills me. He watches the Young&Restless, day tv soap operas, so that he can kibbitz with old ladies who are heartbroken to be selling their homes when they can't take care of them anymore. That'll be me, 2-3 more houses from now. My heart is breaking. He gives me a hug. "I have known you a long time and here is my sense: you've done very well for yourself, and this is the logical next step of continuing to do that. The house you just bought, you will make it stunning again, and it will be worth a great deal, and you'll feel good about doing that."

I sniff back more tears. And hand over the pics of my beloved pond. 😢😭

site of the illfated handfasting - new owners will be shocked and bemused to find trainwreck's lifesize rose quartz penis tucked in the waterlillies, to do with what they wilt

I am kinda scaring the shit out of myself with this house stuff. Soo much to do, every day feels 4 days long. I take it in shifts and sleep only in naps. The last time I did this, 2008, the banks all shut down right in the middle of the process over the mortgage crisis, the historically worst time to be mortgaging anything. But I wanted the house. And I wanted my Greek. So I HELD steady.

Sooo many similarities of factors. Crazy interest rate fluctuations / financial sector meltdown, two houses on my hands, and a Greek who is not my boyfriend in the mix somehow. And leaving a home I had such high hopes of happiness in, dashed, now in search of a new plotline. Homesick by half over it.

The most perplexing aspect at the moment is the Greek. I don't know what to do with that. My Greek has been 1000% fickle concerning me for over a decade - so this one's sudden adoration is just plain odd and disturbing. If he weren't Greek, he would just be a guy, who would remind me of guys, who all sucked. But this one is texting me from Kingston atm like uncanny invasion of the body snatchers. Reminding me of the only man I ever loved whom I didn't wind up knowing as a son of a bitch. Whom I still like and even admire. But whose fickleness is, truth be told, another reason I have to leave this town because sitting here at his feet at the base of Canada is pointless and annoying.

Him: Valentines day is next week.
Me: Yeah. I hate that holiday. I buy puppies I will regret over it sometimes.
Him: I don't want you to think I am a lunatic. So probably 14 dozen roses would be overdoing it?
Me:
Him: Too much?
Me: No. (Yes!!!)

I remember the little single candy my Greek gave me in 2006, grumpily protesting that the holiday was just to trap men into spending money on useless crap. I thought it was so fucking cute.

I still have it. And his smell, unlike anyone else's on this earth, stuck in my nose.

*pang*

Colorwheels are online now.

Nowadays, you can rub one out then shop colors and countertop combos right in your warm comfy bed.