Took the day off to go for my annual physical. I am a terrible patient. I never agree to tests, never take anything they give me, never finish it if I do take it, and never answer the questions straight.

Dr: Are you sexually active?
Me: Define active.
Dr: haha I only mean do you have any pain associated with sex?
Me: psychological pain? yes.
Dr: haha
Me: My vagina is fine though, last I knew.
Dr: hahaha

I am in perfect health. Except for my personality.