very tired, my post-work nap is like a sudden temporary coma, and I dream: that I've come to stay with my sister for a visit, like someone does when they have to for some reason, after a calamity. She is 34 yrs old. She has a daughter, who is a little odd and quiet, she's a young teen (14-15) - the niece's best friend is a small boy, much younger than she is, very pale with thick auburn hair, they run past me and out to play as I enter a room to talk with my sister. My sister looks very like my friend Laura from highschool, not like my real sister at all. She wants to know what is to be done with the baby. I think she means that her daughter is pregnant, and she does, but she wants to know what I did with mine. She says before I leave, that I should tell her what I did with it so that she can track it down. I'm stunned, I feel suddenly very sick and frightened, my heart is pounding. I think I never had that baby but I didn't know anything about a baby at all until that very second - I say only "I'm stunned." She smiles and says she wanted to take from my mind what she needed before I could hide it, and that "at 34 years old, the most developed survival skill in a human being is the manipulation of others."


in real life, the wind knocked me sideways and I lost my balance and shut the hatchback onto my own head. really hard.