update: I took the bongos back. Virgos do not play bongoes. Alone this time (Sunnie, god bless her, is a fun slut like my mom), I chose a djembe. He's short, weighs a ton, makes loud sudden sounds, has a booming empty place of bass in his middle if you tap him just right, is an immigrant (from a vague point of origin, "coafrica"). All the drummers on hand told me that this one, although you'd never guess right off, cz he didn't cost all that much and wasn't painted/blinged at all etc etc, was THE drum, the only REAL one in the room full of em. Carved by hand from a solid log of mahogany, visible gouges, a head made of thick goathide.

So, I took him home. We have to get through the gettoknowyou stage now, but he makes good sounds already, he's cueing up some good noise for me right off. I honestly appreciate that.