So I get a new textbook (aside: I’m always behind on my homework – always – I’m that kind of student, still thinking it over for a long time before I’m willing to commit an answer to anything more substantial than “How’s the weather?”) And I get into the tub, a pulled muscle in my ass on the right to show for my attempt to keep my arms in the air long enough to fathom even the most basic of sets at the tantric workshop that is gonna kick my unholy ass all over. And the book falls open at the heading “Woman”:

Do one favor for yourself. Never be ungrateful to any woman.
Love and respect a woman voluntarily
You are born of a woman. If you do not learn to respect women, the Supreme Consciousness will not talk to you. You will end up with broken homes and broken hearts. [X attacked me, btw, Sunday, for the last time bc finally I’m gonna sue his ass]
When a man tries to walk on the path of God, three things will come to him in abundance: women money and land. Why have I said women? The test of a male in his steadiness of consciousness is when he can prove his roots are deep, and he who is born of a woman is always tested by a woman.
A woman who is capable of giving birth must give birth to a saint, a hero, or a giver. [not necessarily in that order, but check check check, making me The Shit, fyi]
If you do not understand a woman, if no woman will allow you to understand her, you cannot reach God, because you do not know how to get away from maya, illusion.
As a man you are born of a woman. When you grow, you want a woman. You want to be rich for a woman, you want to be poor for a woman, you want to move to the country for a woman, you want to come to a city for a woman.
People who have the idea that a woman is a weak and frail creature do not know what a woman is.
The man who does not know the art of relaxing the female partner in any sexual cohabitation will never maintain the grounds of life.

[don’t shoot the messenger], from “The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan”

the boy least likely to - saddle up