Sometimes for long periods I think, Who Cares? And I lie down and look at the sky, or whatever. Then other times, it’s as if I’m summoned into action, and so I stand up and do things. Sometimes because I have to, but more often because I want to, since ‘have to’ is right next to ‘will not’ in my universe, eh? And then between long bouts of thinking nothing matters measured against all time anyway, I feel this thing: alive now. From the inside, something kicks hard at the rib cage. Wanting and Willing. And the damnest thing is, as far as this blog goes anyway, is that the soundtrack for that and the slitting-your-wrists soundtrack are really really similar, but entirely different. Something, some very slight sensual quality differentiates the soundtrack for death from the soundtrack for alive.

Anouar Brahem - Le Pas du Chat Noir
Anouar Brahem - C'est Ailluers


--Ashbery, "Where We Went for Lunch":

And when I was having lunch
I heard this voice singing
about the breath of other planets blowing.
I mean, who needs to be reminded?
I am at your doorstep after all,
sliding down the door, I pick up the knocker and replace it softly.
There seems nowhere to go,
nothing to do.
I can ask you out on some pretext,
only don't be lonely,
see?
There are enough unhappy people in this gyre.
But I was never one of them and now you will be too.

p.s. or nevermind