status: afloat 〰️

 

"starry night blue"

"I tried to kill myself. And the very last thought was seemingly logical: if I'm losing my grip on this real life and slipping into unreality, I would prefer that my children do not have to deal with a mother gone mad." That might make perfect sense to someone who would say he is too selfish to commit suicide. 

"In the water it is now and now and forever now. My life, strange to others, is stranger to myself. But that doesn't really matter. In this strange life, I can still think - think about things and then scrutinize those thoughts; think through things and then start all over, accepting that, short of one's death, all finalities in life are provisional."