the devil made me - esme rose  and now he's dead.

"all that matters but not all I want"

lol, yup. (wise and succinct)

5 years with no hospitalizations. 

counting birthdays in relation to illness mectrics and life expectancy stats really underscores the fucked up feeling of counting down to your death once a year with a cake. but she's a bighearted little demon who wants to live relentlessly, enough to walk out into early morning snowdrifts wearing one sock and all kinds of similar hair-raising resistence insistence. and zero repentence as if she has no time for that.

I hope the candles in her never go out.

I hate that, myself.