I am not not his ex. He only says that when he's sober. So why do I feel it? I should not have been the one showing up "for better or for worse [and only the worse]" - I came through because someone else chose to disavow a vow and I don't do that and he knows it.

I keep piling on aminals, but I'm what's purring

I keep trying not to think about him, not to text him, not to want him especially. I try to just be the thing that is. And be good.