That he wants to be bothered, engaged with, invited here (out of his manden), etc  - that is not operationally true. If I keep inviting him in, and he keeps refusing, it just sets a pattern of giving him another reason to feel bad. I do not want to be another reason for him to feel bad. So logically, I should leave him alone.

I'll try again after my mother is here.  

There are no lower stakes than a bowl of soup, but I have refused it too. #glasshouse

aloner than I want, but ok

A straight up proposition (like, 'you would maybe be happier licking my pussy right now') might be better than soup. But, I wouldn't bet on that. I am leaving him be.