I've pulled the Empress card every day since I got home. I have one in my kitchen. Card of the (every)day. 

I made a full set of my own tarot in 2010, collages all. I posted them as I went. I thought I had posted ALL of them, why did/would I not? So I looked, that's how I know it was 2010 because I found the other cards, starting with Judgement. I did not Post this one (or can't find it if I did):

In finding them, I skimmed the narrative again. 

2010 looks like a trail that leads directly to a hot tub.

Patterns repeating, outcome unknown atm. All the wrong men were buzzing around me (FPH, Bale, LMG - flowers and bees all around). I put myself through a wtaf process to try to get to the bottom of the problem, a process that I began to narrate to my new friend Aaron (who wanted a chicken-wing tower at his wedding but was eating "tofu scramble", if memory serves). I climbed mountains, danced around a maypole, joined a drumming circle, made jams of fruit I picked myself. M shows up, fucking my asshole Ex is doing me an unknown favor (tyvm!). 

I stood on my head, finally. I might try that again because it takes a lot of physical strength, which would necessitate building muscle back. 

I did everything MATERIAL that I could think of before resorting to magic. 

It wasn't until 2011 that it became clear (to someone else) that I didn't need magic, I was it. All I had to do was be to make magic. 

I am not fully living at this moment. Hence, all I am able to do is jerk off and eat poptarts.

maypole day

"change of perspective"

M

I still want what I wanted then -  kids around, air smells healthy, lying on my back, watching someone else help make the world, and feeling at home in it.

I am just plain homesick (again or still). 

I am getting another tattoo. The pain of it, the process, the result - all are needed, I believe. I am going to have my back redone. 

He (his name is Greg, but I think of him as Handlebar Mustache because he has one [and is Polish 🤭]) is going to wrap her around with good energy, fluid like girl drool. I asked him to take her from 'I don't trust you' to 'come closer so I can get a better look at ya', and sent him this photo. I have no idea what it will look like after 6+ hours, but I trust him. That's the point.

better than - john butler trio repost, a gem that popped out 💞