hard out here for a pimp - terrance howard gallows humor 

"You are known by the company you keep." Verdict from the medical school dean. With the Priest one one side, Nebraska on the other. He is a smart man, smarter than I by far in this world. 

Priest understands me; the purpose for my work (my self) is missing (stolen), I'm merely being used, and while that has of course always been true, when it was a nun via Mary that was fine, but now my soul hurts. My. Soul. Hurts. Under everything else, that is my core problem. (And what kind of magic can I make with that?)

Nebraska does not understand me, and he never will. He wants me, but he's taken and taken from me (given) to create a spot for himself in this medical school, not for me. And now he'd like the Dean to give him my body, since it has to eat and my school is going bankrupt. I'm not for sale, I need redeemed. I can not-eat, clearly demonstrating the difference. But he will never see it.

The Dean understands all this, and pronounces it out loud in one sentence. The position I am in. The position he is in.

I put my fork down. 

The Dean must do what is best for this med school. There is too much on the line in this world at this moment to do anything other than that. It is his duty to know that. And I respect that. I envy that. 🙏