Mom: Horses should really fly, I mean they're good but they could be even better.

(Her mind never ceases to out-weird me.)

life advice wise, McBurgandys is solid, a lot better than a fucking gratitude journal 🤨 

hey Everyone, stop giving life advice to people getting divorced or who got fired or sick etc, just shut the fuck up unless you've got McBurgandy up your sleeve or some shit 🤨

I emptied my dad's apartment, 8 bags of garbage just off the floor and out the fridge. My oldest friend came to help, (re)confirming: one of the things I'm missing in the life I have now is FRIENDS, not warm acquaintances or coworkers, I mean A COMMUNITY. I don't have that and it's a hurty hole in my heart.

his breakfast, I shit you not

look, it's THE FLOOR