I woke up in the night thinking about that quote (from the book I started yesterday after I'd finished, finally, the painfully accurate Abandonment - yup, bonkers lock changing and painful extraction of self bits from idea-of-self like shards of glass from a cheese, I did all of it except stick my ass in the face of a weird neighbor thank god). For the eclipse, I had thought yesterday to doublecheck that I have no Gemini in my chart, and no, I have no air anywhere of any kind. Just Virgo (mutable earth) all day long with big dollops of Pisces (mutable water) and Leo (fixed fire). I am hot mud. You cardinal and air signs make no intuitive sense to me whatsoever. You are Other. You get mad, or sad, any kind of upset, even abruptly happy/moved, and just blow around so it seems to me, hot or cold air in my face. Like a stuckcrust I feel you all over me but it's on the outside, and I stir myself inside out to internalize it, a process that is often uncomfortable, occasionally/inevitably painful. To you, I must seem like a vast plain, my fluidity hidden from view, a distant threat of lava under quiet. You would have to be highly motivated to stick with me (on me), waiting as I churn. But blow away from me, and how does it feel? You leave me baked fetid, wanting your breeze. Do I go with you even as you think you're over me, grit in your veins?
Aoife O’Donovan: Hearts And Bones
bonus track Colin Meloy: Summertime it's still cold as balls outside, but hope springs eternal and I'll be seeing The Decemberists next week at UBCFA
